:pagebrak

Let's see it on you.

It doesn't fit me. Its made for someone else

Well them how do I know you didn't deserve the C-?

Isn't there something you can put as a no show or something? Or do you just have to keep going there?

Yeah just say that you talked to some guy who refused. Fuck it. Its just the census. No one really gives a crap. When they come to my door I think Im going to tell them Im a Mexican Russian married with six kids and that we are trying for 4 more kids to start a circus.

:lol Me too.

My girlfriend actually filled out the census for my roommate and I. We have the same birthday, both work in insurance and are caucasion(debatable). I forgot to mail it though...then I thought I got a 2nd form in the mail that was laying on the floor. I opened the letter and noticed it was the completed form. It is still laying on my floor.

i completed mine in like 2 minutes the day i got it, then put it back in the mailbox

shit was hard, guys

I am legally obligated to get an interview, a refusal, or an interview with a proxy. Those are the only options. And anyone stupid enough to lie about the responses from the housing units they were assigned to would be immediately fired once their superior's superiors had the quality control people double-and-triple check their shit later that week. My CLA was nice enough to throw me ten more housing units while I'm waiting for a response from the property management company regarding the nonresponding nonrespondents on my first assignment area. I'm just glad I'm being helped, if the property management company AND the homeowner's association can't get me the information after all of this detective work... hell, I don't know WHAT the next step would be on my own.

Congressional Funding. United States House of Representatives. Planning of distribution and allocation of city and state resources. Any of that ring a bell?

She kind of explained that to me. I think the part about the proxy is a little weird though. I remember her saying there were fines out the wazoo for lying too.

She had to monitor a few people first to make sure they were field ready. Some of the people would like bring their 15 kids around with them, talk on their cell phone and just not really care.

15 YEARS

NEVER FORGET

You made me a viking costume, didn't you? FOR WHEN I POUND YOU INTO SUBMISSION.

GOOD IDEA MAYBE YOU SHOULD PUT YOUR TWO FAVORITE HOBBIES TOGETHER AND MAKE SEX COSTUMES FOr A LIVING

You're reaching the end of your third decade, chief.

Unless you spent ten years in space. :eek

To not cause a Sports/Loveline merger....

Me and GF were watching the Flyers/ Bruins game earlier this week at a bar. She noticed someone in the stands who was wearing Philly facepaint which was mixed orange and black with a line down the center. Then she's like "Wow, that guy looks the mask guy from Mario."

I heard this was like "Come again?" I knew exactly what she was talking about from Mario 2 but I didn't want to assume this was also what she was talking about. She doesn't play games, sometimes she watches :orgasm.

She's like "You know, when you go down the vase and grab the key. The mask guy chases you."

I was all like "I don't even know what to say. I'm just so happy right now. :rock:love"

she sounds like a keeper bill

Awesome.

Cool story bro. But don't let DML anywhere near her (restraining order ftw!)

Thanks :)

:lol I fucking know what's going to be behind that without even checking.

Hahaha 10kvg that is hilarious

I SAW 10kvg as 10k VAG L:

all of you fgts are the reason market research sucks and people keep making shitty products in response

:pagebrak
If I was a woman that 10K VAG would be my roller derby name.

edit: Karb

iSorry

:lol

Just had a celebrity sighting, kinda: Jani Lane, the former lead singer of Warrant... as he drove into our neighbor's parked car and blew out one of his tires trying to get away.

:lol

Derp de derp de derp

he'll most likely being seeing a warrant now.

why does everyone hate on crocs?

BECAUSE THEY REPRESENT ALL THAT IS EVIL

I thought you meant crocodiles, and I was about to say that I like crocodiles and I have several photos of me enjoying my distance, but you mean those plastic shoes that are just piles of turd, don't you?

:lol That's amazing.

They rip little kids feet off on escalators.

I think escalators need more killswitches. Just one at either end is not enough, especially when people don't listen to each other.

I was at the mall last week and the down escalator was turned off and roped off. The didn't trust us to use them as stairs. :(

That's dumb.

Also, it was at the end of the mall and we wanted to go to the shoe store just at the bottom of the escalator, so we walked back to the middle of the mall, went down, and then back again. No big deal, but I kept thinking that Mitch Hedgeberg would have cried.

Too bad the mall didn't have a dicks or galyans at that end. You could have taken the rock climbing wall down.

Yes, but do you want a frozen banana?

No, but I do want a regular banana later, so go ahead and give me one.

I need to use the bathroom but I'm out of toilet paper, so I'm just gonna jump in the shower instead.

Halloween this year?

Uh oh, did I miss the memo on Paella. :x

As an uppity Englishman of some long standing in these parts, how am I expected to refer to that god-awful Spanish shit-dish? :eek

This is true, I seem to recall the commonwealth beating the armada. Fuck their wog payellah back to their own country.

Ugh, went a bit racist there. Ignore that.

I've never heard that term before.

Pah- ae- ya is one of the most delicious fucking things in the world when made right, think of it as a spanish seafood jumble.

There is no conjoining syllable between "pah" and "aeya", which makes it fucking clumsy to say for an english speaker to say casually. As such, english speakers call it "pieYaeya", with a y sound in the middle. Except for the English, whose food critic population pronounces it pie-yella (similar to an inbred American redneck), which would't be a problem if they didn't sniff haughtily every time a FOREIGNER, (Spanish, American, or otherwise) has the UNMITIGATED GALL to correct their PERFECT PRONUNCIATION. I give a historically-accurate sample conversation in the original post

They are wonderful. I'm getting a pan from my mum shortly. Yummy yummy yummy

Wog or Paella?

DEAR PEOPLE I'VE SENT PRVIATE MESSAGES TO:

STOP IHGNORING ME OR I'LL FIND YOU

SHUT THE FUCK UP

WASN'T ME, BRAH

FINLAND'S SAD BECAUSE PEOPLE PUT HIM ON IGNORE HIM EVERY SATURDAY :(

WOG

DEAR GRISLYGUS, I WILL BE GETTING TO YOU PERSONAL MESSAGE SOON, I AM THINKING ABOUT THE SUBJECT OF IT AND RESEARCHING SOURCES.

I just found out today that neurosurgery will not be ruining my summer.

Fucking awesome is what that is.

That is good news.

I have 2 hours to kill drinking at a bar before a show. What is the world up to?

I've been saying it the way you call correct already, I am surprised at the way you suggest for British people. And I don't know how the words "spanish seafood jumble" is supposed to make it sound appetising. It still sounds like sweaty shit stink on a plate to me.

is supposed? :dunce

and another :dunce to the errors I don't see. >:

:(

I lived in a black neighbourhood when I was five years old. I played with the neighbour kids. One of our favourite toys were the golliwogs. But they all got taken away one day after a lady from the Church saw us with them.


We also had a counting rhyme that involved pulling ****** toes. We were okay with this.

Then I came to I-Mockery 13 years later and decided to hate black people for laughs. Because it is oh so funny.

But it is okay, my childhood friends hate white people now too.

Pub if you are one of the british peoples that was able to correctly pronounce paella thenn I take you at your word and salute you. In other news, I just went to my new Census assignment area today and I wanted to let you guys know beforehand that if I suddenly stop posting and am never heard from again, it might be because I was stabbed and shot several times in broad daylight.





That joke's hilarious because it's true and I'm probably going to die.

WELCOME TO MY LIFE EVERY DAY

although its been a lot calmer recently.

one house had a pile of busted concrete blocks on the driveway, next to the car with the duct-tape covered door. As I got to the front walkway, three pitbulls started snarling and tackling the back gate, I realized that I was no longer visible from the street, and saw that the small "decorative" window fixed in the front door was completely smashed. That was one of the BETTER ones.

YOU CAN'T DIE UNTIL YOU DO THAT THING FOR ME

SAM

MULEHOSE

There is a chair made of gollywogs in a junks shop here. :( It's fucking creepy as, and I'm not brave enough to sit in it.

I grew up in the highlands of Papua New Guinea as one of two white boys, but I still sung the same rhyme about ******s. Except we pronounced it 'nickers'. Then the teachers told us to stop saying ******s because it was offensive, and we were all like "We weren't even saying ******, but I guess we will now, thanks teach".

:lol

No joke, I fucking love drugs.

Dried opium poppies are available for dirt cheap over the internet, and can be made into a sort of opium tea that gets you very, very high. It tastes kinda like vomit! I prefer kratom, personally, but that's mostly because I can't afford to spend all day lying around doped to saturation.

Although I'm more interested in psychedelics, currently. Am considering ending my love affair with DXM, the hallucinations of which resemble the finale of 2001 with intergalactic shamans and gravity becoming fucked, along with being able to think about 12 different things simultaneously resulting in downright psychotic levels of introspection, but I've no idea what to try next. Now that I think about it, I've never gone beyond a third plateau trip, and even that was the result of me being blind drunk while dosing and not remembring much except for a fantasy in which I swam to a castle at the bottom of the sea to gain treasure for the financial upkeep of another forum I post on. Anyway, yeah, that's a hilarious drug, despite most people thinking it a jeuvenile thing since the most common source of it is cough syrup.

LSA or various dubious mescaline cacti sound a fair bet for my next experiments, and I'm due my share of vomiting at this point. Can't decide which one yet, but Morning Glory seeds seem to be cheaper and easier to eat than an entire fucking San Pedro cactus.

I don't care about your habits, I was laughing at you describing yourself as a grungy intellectual. :lol

I wear clothes past the expiration date and like the Screaming Trees a lot fuck you

Can you stop talking about yourself?

Clothes have expiration dates?

All I need is love and oxygen! :)

:lol

The point when they are more hole than clothing is the time I think about retiring them.

I usually give it a few weeks after that though.

I focused more on the word "intellectual"

You're a teen sensation!

I am. What I find odd is they were not so keen on giving me the sensation when I was a teen & had no qualms about it.

Aged meat. :x

I bumped my head and felt a big high from it. Then right away I tasted blood but wasn't bleeding. Should I take a nap?

You got a bunch of tumors in your head.

tadao: I wouldn't.

:lol

Has it, indeed? :eek

I'd wager that Mr. Pub has saved a copy on his "hard drive".

I am sad to say you have lost that wager, but there are many, many perverts out there that haven't been stroke down with my current affliction.

Struck. :dunce

I don't know, the first version was funnier. :lol

I was looking at it like he was saying that he wears clothes after the fashion fad is over. I didn't think he was old enough to have gone through more than one fashion era though.

Like if you wanted to be grungy you would still wear baggy jeans and flannel shirts like Cobain did.

HAY GRISLYGUS

JUST HAD A CHEF ON THE RADIO TELLING ME IT WAS PIE-YAYA NOT PIE-YELLA.

We are not all ignorant! But then, his paella was made with rabbit and squirrel.

I bet at the end it zooms out from a TV and shows JJ there pitching the show to ABC. :\

I always thought it was PIE-AYA. Just basing it off HANK SCORPIO's pronunciation though.


:lol
:DALLAS


Oh...or even better
:THEARISTOCRATS

That would work if they were able to photoshop Suzanne Pleshette and Barbara Bel Geddes acting as part of a focus group telling the execs that "The concept just isn't plausible."

Holy shit



What

I was thinking it would be more like..


JJ ~ "You see. Its kind of like Seinfeld. It really isnt about anything! :) "

Execs ~ "Thats stupid. Your stupid. >: "

JJ ~ "Fine! Ill just go make a show for FOX. They will air ANYTHING! >: "