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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

noob3 Apr 30th, 2007 09:30 AM

wtf is that guy micheal jackson's emo clone from hell

Womti Apr 30th, 2007 01:54 PM

what the photoshop

MarioRPG Apr 30th, 2007 08:33 PM

Good one.

Big McLargehuge May 1st, 2007 01:34 AM

Hey do you like this stanza?

And if she direct me, i be a perfect little man, boy.
Boy, and if she direct me, i keep all things holy, war,
holy, fire and fight.

Sam May 1st, 2007 02:04 AM

I knew you couldn't stay away you big slut. :wink

Supafly345 May 1st, 2007 06:26 AM

I also do parties


MarioRPG May 1st, 2007 03:51 PM

I went to court today! I saw many cases thrown out!

MattJack May 5th, 2007 06:20 AM

Need help in that "special" place? But you don't want to take prescription pills with side effects? Or do the pills simply not "work?"

Well now you have a new option!

POS-T-VAC

A new device that connects to your "special" male part and let's you be 18 for up to 30mins again!

Wait, how does it work you ask?

SIMPLE

Plug in your home vacuum, lock on the POS-T-VAC Tube, put the suck-tube on your di*k, and within 4 minutes you will be 18 all over again!

NOW FOR SOME TESTIMONY!!!!!!!!!

BlueOatmeal May 5th, 2007 12:13 PM

FUCK YES GUYS! No more remedial math for me!

Fathom Zero May 5th, 2007 04:40 PM

Supafly, those are incredibly scary pictures.

They're freaking me out.

Seven Force May 5th, 2007 11:47 PM

I hope to god that's photoshopped

MattJack May 6th, 2007 08:07 PM

REPUBLIPUNK ASS BITCH

Esuohlim May 9th, 2007 07:22 PM

Using i-mockery.net no longer works for me so I thought the boards have been down since Friday :x

MetalMilitia May 10th, 2007 08:20 PM

I was wondering why the forum had been extremely slow for the past day or so and then I noticed that an i-mock story was on the front page of the gaming section of DIGG, which would probably explain it.

Mockery May 11th, 2007 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 490692)
I was wondering why the forum had been extremely slow for the past day or so and then I noticed that an i-mock story was on the front page of the gaming section of DIGG, which would probably explain it.

Yep, that was it... one of our pieces was the #1 dugg article in gaming yesterday so there was a lot of inbound traffic. The main site stayed up no problemo, but anything like the forums which work with a database were slowed down to a crawl. I'm currently talking with our host about upgrading the server (again).

kahljorn May 12th, 2007 05:05 PM

so my brother-in-law has been spending the night for the last two days...

the first night he gets so drunk that he wakes up in the middle of the night and pisses through the screen door onto the porch.
last night he got so drunk... well, we saw his car parked out front, but we didn't see him inside our house, so we thought he carpooled with somebody. Eventually i was looking through a window and saw a man passed out on a lawn across the street. GUESS WHO? then it turns out he lost his keys, and he just so happened to have our spare house key with him.
fucking dumbass.

Shyandquietguy May 12th, 2007 07:38 PM

Fucking Christ dude, I don't know if I'd be able to even look at a person like that. :(

When I was riding the bus I saw this really old woman who was drunk and she was sitting right behind a cerebral palsy girl in a wheel chair, the woman ended up barfing in the girl's grocery bags that were hung on the wheel chair before she was kicked off the bus. :(

Shyandquietguy May 12th, 2007 08:01 PM

Holy sh*t man I must be on some kind of high I've never posted this much before

Shyandquietguy May 12th, 2007 08:04 PM

Seriously don't even try to f*cking bum me out.

No one can bum me out today.

kahljorn May 13th, 2007 04:44 PM

luckily he just locked his keys in the car.

lol that shit was funny. i used to black out a lot but i never fell asleep in weird places really, or peed on doors...
one time in some bushes but just because i didn't want to walk home but they were sparse hiding bushes at a park.

MattJack May 14th, 2007 05:44 AM

:lol Your brother-in-law is awesome. I love that guy that everyone knows that just passes out everywhere.

I have a friend who always talked about how he could out drink, smoke, fuck, drive, game, and anything under sun you. Well one night he was drinking with us and went around the corner of the house outside.

I walked outside to take a piss a bit later and I see him laying face down on the ground. When I went to go fireman carry his ass back, I noticed he fell down on a fucking ant bed! Funniest shit ever, also he had about 300 bites on him.

Jixby Phillips May 15th, 2007 02:04 AM

HEY GUYS VOTE FOR ME :picklehat

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showt...854#post490854

kahljorn May 15th, 2007 02:05 AM

lol
after this weekend here's my new theory on blacking out: it makes you do everything opposite! For example, when he pissed through the screen door, the bathroom was the same distance in the opposite direction! When he passed out on the lawn, he walked in the opposite direction of my door.

FartinMowler May 15th, 2007 08:08 AM

I'm writing some words for a punk song contest...

The beginning goes like this (I just talk).

I was lying on a beach when a pretty girl comes up to me and says "Oh my god are you Al Gore?" and I almost say "are you stupid?" but I hold up my drink and say "Can't you see the ice in my drink is melting?, get me a fresh one and this time put a Cherry on top"


...and then the song begins with a drum beat/bass line and me singing "I grabbed her hand and we swim in the Ocean, saved a Dolphin and hug a tree, turned of my Cell phone so not do divert some in flying Bee's, I'm Al Gore"


I'm still thinking of the rest

MetalMilitia May 15th, 2007 05:48 PM

If it's a punk song it needs to be all in your face like "pre-heat your face to gas mark shut up".

MetalMilitia May 15th, 2007 05:53 PM

If it's a punk song it needs to be all in your face like "pre-heat your face to gas mark shut up".

MetalMilitia May 15th, 2007 06:01 PM

If it's a punk song it needs to be all in your face like "pre-heat your face to gas mark shut up".

MetalMilitia May 15th, 2007 06:09 PM

Damnit the forum screwed up and posted that three times. Though I think I may have just inadvertently written you a chorus. :hat

Fathom Zero May 15th, 2007 06:58 PM

My uncle's giving me his Geo Prism. I think it may be the 5-Door.

MetalMilitia May 15th, 2007 07:01 PM

that doesn't rhyme.

Chojin May 15th, 2007 07:14 PM

Guys have you noticed that these forums are only interesting when I post here?

Fathom Zero May 15th, 2007 07:16 PM

Drats.

Fathom Zero May 15th, 2007 07:18 PM

So... who wants to know more about my life? I know you do, Chojin.

MetalMilitia May 15th, 2007 07:40 PM

Man that chong is just lucky he's not IRL or he'd be the latest resident of punchedville population chong. :hat

MarioRPG May 15th, 2007 09:11 PM

No way Chojin's too busy do internet things

Chojin May 15th, 2007 10:10 PM

I am, too :<

noob3 May 15th, 2007 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 490914)
Guys have you noticed that these forums are only interesting when I post here?

I have!

MetalMilitia May 16th, 2007 05:11 AM

Cat photographs must not remain uncategorised!

Goat Cheese May 17th, 2007 01:36 PM

700 post and i'm feeling fine.
also I am back.


BEWARE.

MarioRPG May 17th, 2007 03:29 PM

That list has grown.

kahljorn May 17th, 2007 06:52 PM

you haven't defeated lenor yet?

pathetic :(

DURHURHURHUR May 17th, 2007 09:07 PM

Post manly names
 
I remeber Rip McVanderhuge from somewhere.

Matt Harty May 18th, 2007 12:21 AM

fuck you

DuFresne May 18th, 2007 02:38 AM

Thank you for your consideration in posting this directly in the Mock Wars, so that I'm already in the most appropriate place to call you an asswipe, asswipe. :lol

MetalMilitia May 18th, 2007 03:26 AM

There is a village near were I live called Chesterblade. That'd make a manly surname.

MetalMilitia May 18th, 2007 11:04 AM

Matt Harty hates America you heard it here first.

kahljorn May 18th, 2007 01:57 PM

what a stinky cunt

MattJack May 18th, 2007 02:14 PM

man yallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

FartinMowler May 18th, 2007 07:10 PM

New words for my Punk song

I have a giant cross in my nose
and a closet full of black clothes
I saw a commercial of a Goth girl spinning in a Jesus Christ Pose
I guess its shrewd marketing I suppose

Fathom Zero May 18th, 2007 11:34 PM

Oh damn, Fartin. That's the shit.

Fathom Zero May 18th, 2007 11:37 PM

Mark von Chesterblade.

I drew a pirate once by the name of Captain Big Beard.

Dick Baker is a manly name, too.

executioneer May 19th, 2007 12:27 AM

thor wolfjager

Homowner May 19th, 2007 05:57 PM

Seung-hui Cho

MarioRPG May 19th, 2007 08:59 PM

Yeah man, you could go triple platinum.

Fathom Zero May 19th, 2007 09:59 PM

When is Pub getting back from his sabbatical?

MetalMilitia May 19th, 2007 10:05 PM

I looked for Jixby Phillips on Youtube and I found a video of Public Pub Lover:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awIuLspkUCg

He's singing a haunting ballad about Jixby's dead cat.

HickMan May 21st, 2007 03:05 PM

Hey guys what's goin on?

Supafly345 May 21st, 2007 07:31 PM

Controversial political humor is what's going on.

MarioRPG May 21st, 2007 09:54 PM

Guys, I'm going to be on CBC news tonight! I'm wearing a blue shirt and sunglasses (because I am that cool).

Esuohlim May 21st, 2007 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia (Post 491279)
I looked for Jixby Phillips on Youtube and I found a video of Public Pub Lover:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awIuLspkUCg

He's singing a haunting ballad about Jixby's dead cat.

I miss that crazy shut-in :x

kahljorn May 22nd, 2007 05:23 PM

what were you on the news for dude?

MattJack May 23rd, 2007 04:58 AM

Man I'm so tired yall, they been working me like a dog. I worked 72 hours last week alone. I get off work in 2 hours, I'm so very tired.

FartinMowler May 23rd, 2007 05:59 PM


Womti May 23rd, 2007 06:02 PM

Matthew Johnson (MattJack :rolleyes)

Goat Cheese May 23rd, 2007 10:13 PM

Well played fartin

bigtimecow May 24th, 2007 02:07 AM

sup fags

Womti May 24th, 2007 08:01 PM

Im no fag :x

Womti May 24th, 2007 08:02 PM

plastic jello is delicious?

Womti May 24th, 2007 08:03 PM

nothing :x

Sethomas May 24th, 2007 10:35 PM

Paul wasn't at the Last Supper. LET THE FUN END... NOW.

Supafly345 May 24th, 2007 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DURHURHURHUR (Post 491094)
I remeber Rip McVanderhuge from somewhere.

MST3K, duh. Dirk Hardpec, Stunt Chunkman, Gristle McThornbody. Its all good.

I like the name River Phoenix. So rad.
Powers Booth is another good one.

MisSFiT May 24th, 2007 11:09 PM

Is this where all the cool people hang out?

RaNkeri May 25th, 2007 04:00 AM

Honey, I'm home! :x

And holy shit, I'm pretty much ready to start summer vacation!
Matriculation exams: done
Prep school lessons: done
1st entry exam: done (although I got my ass kicked, oh well gotta try next year)

Only two entry exams left :x

Has anything mindblowin' happened while I've been gone?

kahljorn May 25th, 2007 07:43 PM

I farted and everyone who was posting on the message board could smell it :O :O

that was really strange!

MattJack May 26th, 2007 07:05 PM

I just woke up and I had a dream that Willie and I were hanging out playing video games.

We were playing Marvel vs. Capcom and he was whipping ass with Venom. Then he saw my two dogs, which are boxers, and we had a discussion about how they are cool dogs.

Then we talked about video game music and I played the Punch Out theme for him. He said he didn't know what Punch Out was, what a nightmare I had last night :(

Fathom Zero May 27th, 2007 06:05 PM

I think I've run out of internet.

MarioRPG May 28th, 2007 09:09 PM

I bought a Wii!

Seven Force May 28th, 2007 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sethomas (Post 491709)
Paul wasn't at the Last Supper. LET THE FUN END... NOW.

um, paul reiser is an unfunny jew OF COURSE he wasn't invited :rolleyes

Chojin May 28th, 2007 10:47 PM

hi guys

Seven Force May 29th, 2007 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 492206)
hi guys

Hi chojin

kahljorn May 29th, 2007 12:39 AM

hey dude!

Sethomas May 29th, 2007 01:24 AM

Jesus is the answer!

Seven Force May 29th, 2007 04:20 PM

Yeah right, like im gonna trust a rape victim :rolleyes

arg_zombies May 29th, 2007 06:18 PM

Chuck norris :<

Esuohlim May 29th, 2007 08:31 PM

Leslie Nielsen

Sacks May 29th, 2007 10:06 PM

I saw a guy in the phonebook one time named Jack Sixkiller. Probably the most manly name ever.

arg_zombies May 30th, 2007 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 492318)
Leslie Nielsen


Steve Martin

RaNkeri May 30th, 2007 06:35 AM

What the fuck does this thread have to do with mock wars?

arg_zombies May 30th, 2007 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DuFresne (Post 491121)
Thank you for your consideration in posting this directly in the Mock Wars, so that I'm already in the most appropriate place to call you an asswipe, asswipe. :lol

That has already been answered :lol

FartinMowler May 30th, 2007 07:15 PM

In my never ending (might end soon) quest to find a band that will accept a balding freak of nature 40 year old male that looks early 30s with a hat and cool t-shirt I recieved this e-mail.

Quote:

The GTA Pagan Network serves many functions for Pagans, and, is a valuable Networking resource for All Pagans WorldWide!
Asatruists,Witches,Wiccans,Kemetists,Celtic Pagans, Thelemites, Druids, Shamans, Ritual Occultists and Hedonistic Neuronauts are most welcome! This group allows for the sharing of ideas, concepts, rituals and resources. We welcome and ENCOURAGE International membership and the greater insights it provides.
Egyptian Magick, Wicca, Chaos Magick, and Tantra are just some of the topics of interest. Whatever your Pagan path, your contribution and participation in this group is welcome. Buddhists, Zenists, Hindus and people of any faith or beleif or lack thereof, are welcome to join and participate, as we can all learn from eachother by sharing ideas, beliefs and experiences.

There is one guiding principle here, and that is to treat others with respect. This group has proven to be a friendly, sharing and special place for many, and My wish from the inception of this group was to create a special place where Pagans can feel free to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of comdemnation or ridicule.
"We are all on this Path together,
and Together,
we can become more successfull on our Paths"
Blessed Be!

executioneer May 30th, 2007 09:44 PM

ewwwww

Jixby Phillips May 31st, 2007 04:45 AM

Thanks for keeping my name in the title for so long willie!

You are a real pal!

MarioRPG Jun 1st, 2007 06:08 PM

Palz 4 life

Guitar Woman Jun 1st, 2007 11:23 PM

Hey guys :(

Guitar Woman Jun 1st, 2007 11:23 PM

Hey, what's this faggot doing back!

Fathom Zero Jun 2nd, 2007 12:12 AM

On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

Guitar Woman Jun 2nd, 2007 12:15 AM

What?
.

Fathom Zero Jun 2nd, 2007 12:36 AM

You took the words right out of my mouth.

executioneer Jun 2nd, 2007 01:17 AM

did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight

Guitar Woman Jun 2nd, 2007 01:23 AM

No, but I did get institutionalized at a treatment center in north Idaho where I met and most likely lost forever the girl who could have been the love of my life. :(

Romantic sorrows aside, how long was my avatar the picture of the horses fucking? :<


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