wtf is that guy micheal jackson's emo clone from hell

what the photoshop

Good one.

Hey do you like this stanza?

And if she direct me, i be a perfect little man, boy.
Boy, and if she direct me, i keep all things holy, war,
holy, fire and fight.

I knew you couldn't stay away you big slut. :wink

I also do parties

I went to court today! I saw many cases thrown out!

Need help in that "special" place? But you don't want to take prescription pills with side effects? Or do the pills simply not "work?"

Well now you have a new option!

POS-T-VAC

A new device that connects to your "special" male part and let's you be 18 for up to 30mins again!

Wait, how does it work you ask?

SIMPLE

Plug in your home vacuum, lock on the POS-T-VAC Tube, put the suck-tube on your di*k, and within 4 minutes you will be 18 all over again!

NOW FOR SOME TESTIMONY!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YES GUYS! No more remedial math for me!

Supafly, those are incredibly scary pictures.

They're freaking me out.

I hope to god that's photoshopped

REPUBLIPUNK ASS BITCH

Using i-mockery.net no longer works for me so I thought the boards have been down since Friday :x

I was wondering why the forum had been extremely slow for the past day or so and then I noticed that an i-mock story was on the front page of the gaming section of DIGG, which would probably explain it.

Yep, that was it... one of our pieces was the #1 dugg article in gaming yesterday so there was a lot of inbound traffic. The main site stayed up no problemo, but anything like the forums which work with a database were slowed down to a crawl. I'm currently talking with our host about upgrading the server (again).

so my brother-in-law has been spending the night for the last two days...

the first night he gets so drunk that he wakes up in the middle of the night and pisses through the screen door onto the porch.
last night he got so drunk... well, we saw his car parked out front, but we didn't see him inside our house, so we thought he carpooled with somebody. Eventually i was looking through a window and saw a man passed out on a lawn across the street. GUESS WHO? then it turns out he lost his keys, and he just so happened to have our spare house key with him.
fucking dumbass.

Fucking Christ dude, I don't know if I'd be able to even look at a person like that. :(

When I was riding the bus I saw this really old woman who was drunk and she was sitting right behind a cerebral palsy girl in a wheel chair, the woman ended up barfing in the girl's grocery bags that were hung on the wheel chair before she was kicked off the bus. :(

Holy sh*t man I must be on some kind of high I've never posted this much before

Seriously don't even try to f*cking bum me out.

No one can bum me out today.

luckily he just locked his keys in the car.

lol that shit was funny. i used to black out a lot but i never fell asleep in weird places really, or peed on doors...
one time in some bushes but just because i didn't want to walk home but they were sparse hiding bushes at a park.

:lol Your brother-in-law is awesome. I love that guy that everyone knows that just passes out everywhere.

I have a friend who always talked about how he could out drink, smoke, fuck, drive, game, and anything under sun you. Well one night he was drinking with us and went around the corner of the house outside.

I walked outside to take a piss a bit later and I see him laying face down on the ground. When I went to go fireman carry his ass back, I noticed he fell down on a fucking ant bed! Funniest shit ever, also he had about 300 bites on him.

HEY GUYS VOTE FOR ME :picklehat

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showt...854#post490854

lol
after this weekend here's my new theory on blacking out: it makes you do everything opposite! For example, when he pissed through the screen door, the bathroom was the same distance in the opposite direction! When he passed out on the lawn, he walked in the opposite direction of my door.

I'm writing some words for a punk song contest...

The beginning goes like this (I just talk).

I was lying on a beach when a pretty girl comes up to me and says "Oh my god are you Al Gore?" and I almost say "are you stupid?" but I hold up my drink and say "Can't you see the ice in my drink is melting?, get me a fresh one and this time put a Cherry on top"


...and then the song begins with a drum beat/bass line and me singing "I grabbed her hand and we swim in the Ocean, saved a Dolphin and hug a tree, turned of my Cell phone so not do divert some in flying Bee's, I'm Al Gore"


I'm still thinking of the rest

If it's a punk song it needs to be all in your face like "pre-heat your face to gas mark shut up".

If it's a punk song it needs to be all in your face like "pre-heat your face to gas mark shut up".

If it's a punk song it needs to be all in your face like "pre-heat your face to gas mark shut up".

Damnit the forum screwed up and posted that three times. Though I think I may have just inadvertently written you a chorus. :hat

My uncle's giving me his Geo Prism. I think it may be the 5-Door.

that doesn't rhyme.

Guys have you noticed that these forums are only interesting when I post here?

Drats.

So... who wants to know more about my life? I know you do, Chojin.

Man that chong is just lucky he's not IRL or he'd be the latest resident of punchedville population chong. :hat

No way Chojin's too busy do internet things

I am, too :<

I have!

Cat photographs must not remain uncategorised!

700 post and i'm feeling fine.
also I am back.


BEWARE.

That list has grown.

you haven't defeated lenor yet?

pathetic :(

Post manly names
 

I remeber Rip McVanderhuge from somewhere.

fuck you

Thank you for your consideration in posting this directly in the Mock Wars, so that I'm already in the most appropriate place to call you an asswipe, asswipe. :lol

There is a village near were I live called Chesterblade. That'd make a manly surname.

Matt Harty hates America you heard it here first.

what a stinky cunt

man yallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

New words for my Punk song

I have a giant cross in my nose
and a closet full of black clothes
I saw a commercial of a Goth girl spinning in a Jesus Christ Pose
I guess its shrewd marketing I suppose

Oh damn, Fartin. That's the shit.

Mark von Chesterblade.

I drew a pirate once by the name of Captain Big Beard.

Dick Baker is a manly name, too.

thor wolfjager

Seung-hui Cho

Yeah man, you could go triple platinum.

When is Pub getting back from his sabbatical?

I looked for Jixby Phillips on Youtube and I found a video of Public Pub Lover:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awIuLspkUCg

He's singing a haunting ballad about Jixby's dead cat.

Hey guys what's goin on?

Controversial political humor is what's going on.

Guys, I'm going to be on CBC news tonight! I'm wearing a blue shirt and sunglasses (because I am that cool).

I miss that crazy shut-in :x

what were you on the news for dude?

Man I'm so tired yall, they been working me like a dog. I worked 72 hours last week alone. I get off work in 2 hours, I'm so very tired.

Matthew Johnson (MattJack :rolleyes)

Well played fartin

sup fags

Im no fag :x

plastic jello is delicious?

nothing :x

Paul wasn't at the Last Supper. LET THE FUN END... NOW.

MST3K, duh. Dirk Hardpec, Stunt Chunkman, Gristle McThornbody. Its all good.

I like the name River Phoenix. So rad.
Powers Booth is another good one.

Is this where all the cool people hang out?

Honey, I'm home! :x

And holy shit, I'm pretty much ready to start summer vacation!
Matriculation exams: done
Prep school lessons: done
1st entry exam: done (although I got my ass kicked, oh well gotta try next year)

Only two entry exams left :x

Has anything mindblowin' happened while I've been gone?

I farted and everyone who was posting on the message board could smell it :O :O

that was really strange!

I just woke up and I had a dream that Willie and I were hanging out playing video games.

We were playing Marvel vs. Capcom and he was whipping ass with Venom. Then he saw my two dogs, which are boxers, and we had a discussion about how they are cool dogs.

Then we talked about video game music and I played the Punch Out theme for him. He said he didn't know what Punch Out was, what a nightmare I had last night :(

I think I've run out of internet.

I bought a Wii!

um, paul reiser is an unfunny jew OF COURSE he wasn't invited :rolleyes

hi guys

Hi chojin

hey dude!

Jesus is the answer!

Yeah right, like im gonna trust a rape victim :rolleyes

Chuck norris :<

Leslie Nielsen

I saw a guy in the phonebook one time named Jack Sixkiller. Probably the most manly name ever.

Steve Martin

What the fuck does this thread have to do with mock wars?

That has already been answered :lol

In my never ending (might end soon) quest to find a band that will accept a balding freak of nature 40 year old male that looks early 30s with a hat and cool t-shirt I recieved this e-mail.

ewwwww

Thanks for keeping my name in the title for so long willie!

You are a real pal!

Palz 4 life

Hey guys :(

Hey, what's this faggot doing back!

On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight

No, but I did get institutionalized at a treatment center in north Idaho where I met and most likely lost forever the girl who could have been the love of my life. :(

Romantic sorrows aside, how long was my avatar the picture of the horses fucking? :<