I'LL GIVE JENNIFER ANISTON A PENIS IN THE SHAPE OF A PENIS.

I would make change her name jennifer analston and sodomize her with the bonesaw

you and your sodomy

I'd like to strangle Jennifer Aniston with a belt if you know what I mean.

Also, k0k0, they should give you some of those shitty little plastic ties to help you keep your shoes and clothes on. Hopefully they'll have something for you to do, when I was in the nuthouse all there was to do besides three sessions of group therapy and inedible meals was to pace up and down the hall.

Last time I was there, I brought like 6 books and read through them all. It wasn't until I finished my last book that I wanted out of there. It was funny to see what everyone else was having to do. There were big black dudes who were suicidal or something coloring with crayons. Lots of crosswords using those little mini golf pencils. They really don't give you much to do. The meals were really great at the one I went to. Although now that I know that I have a wheat allergy, it'll suck to pick out the edible stuff.

The hospital I was in wouldn't let me have any books :(. They couldn't even get their story straight on why not, either. One doctor told me it because I was supposed to spend that time on "self-reflection" (Twelve days of self reflection seems like overkill) and another told me it was because I could sneak a razor blade in a book. I pretty much lied through my teeth to get out of there, I couldn't stand the boredom and smell of piss any longer and this place wasn't even a public hospital!

Also they kept me in a ward with the junkies and suicidal people, and put all of the delusional psychotics in their own little locked hall, I couldn't imagine having to deal with the screamers and seizure people on top of all that.

My therapist wouldn't let me have anything to read because he was afraid I'd get lost in fantasy and shirk my therapy, which I was already doing anyway via stalking the pretty schizophrenic girl down the hall who had screaming seizures a lot.

Fuck him, though, I managed to smuggle Dune and Inferno out of the ward library. I probably got more lasting mental stimulation out of those books and talking about drugs with my cokehead roommate than I did in 6 months of professional treatment.

Also, the water in that place tasted like plastic. I'm not even sure how it's possible to fuck up water, but they did it.

k0k0
Hope things work out.

Before I got out, I was conniving with a friend to have all of the pages from my copy of Naked Lunch pasted into a crossword puzzle book (They would let us have puzzle books, but not novels, what the fuck). Also I lied through my teeth about my drug use because they were also a drug treatment facility and I really didn't feel like schlepping through Narcotics Anonymous meetings every night because I admitted to smoking pot and using acid regularly.

Honestly, though, I think looney bins are the best places to meet really awesome and interesting people. Despite the fact that all mental ward staff members are semi-retarded and completely fucking psychotic, I'd totally get committed again if given the opportunity and if I could leave any time I wanted.

Be sure to make a good first impression with the fuckers, koko. I recommend showing up on psilocybin.

Or do this, then share the love with the most unstable patients you can find

man now i want to get put in a crazy house thanks a lot you guys >:

Being put in the crazy house wouldn't change my current lifestyle too much :(

New thread backups: http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showt...php?t=69708076

You can if you commit yourself.

now you can have all the fun you want!

Guy gave his cheating girlfriend a shitty tattoo.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...-cheating.html

Ahaha. Classic.

I hope he doesn't have to pay for damages - I can forget most of the injustices in the world if only people like that would get what they deserve.

I sent ItalianStereotype a PM, but I have to go to bed now.

Dics + bics = itch

What a bitch

for me? aw, shucks.

From what I understand from the source I got this story from (which had the same general details), he made her sign a waiver clearing him of responsibility for 'artistic interpretation'. So a decent lawyer should keep him in the clear. Her story of "he got me drunk" will be difficult to prove, while the signed waiver is physical evidence. Sounds open and shut to me anyway.

Also, I liked the comment "well she shit on him first"

Awww, turns out the tattoo story may in fact be a hoax :(

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/883324-...timate-revenge

Dayton has enough tattoo drama. There was a big craigslist battle between a divorcing couple, tattoo artists. They accused each other of all kinds of things- one had hep c, the other one was so drugged-up they couldn't even walk straight, blah blah blah.

It never made any Dayton news that I know of.

I assume all tattoo artists have hep c

The one who did my mom's was in a "liberal" town and she was fairly nice.

Mom had to have a bunch of her back removed for cancer stuff and she stuck an atomic symbol on the damage.

All right, you know what? Sobriety is fucking elephant shit, and it has no place in my life. I haven't felt this fucking low since I was forcibly seperated from the first person I fell in love with. So, fuck quitting; I am relapsing as soon as possible, and I am going to continue enjoying my life and being awesome at everything I do, because I'll be on drugs all the fucking time.

Yeah, maybe I'll be a pathetic, servile junkie who only shits every 3 days and whose routine schedule is dominated by chemicals, but I don't give one goddamn fuck, because that shit improves the quality of my life in every way you can possibly imagine. Except for shitting, but I'm going to make an effort to replace my entire diet with almonds so I won't have to pass chunks of cement twice a week.

Relinquishing addiction has made me more apathetic towards life than I've ever been, even when I was a DXM tard. I don't shave, I don't write, I don't hang out with friends, I don't work, I don't do fucking anything. I'm just a miserable, joyless, cold, unproductive sack of shit who's no fun for anyone. Narcotics Anonymous can go suck the tits I wish I had.

You turned out to be everything I hoped.

Thank you, illegitimate offspring of Tom Petty!

:pagebrak