Holy shit, was the goal to not even try?

Listen, I had a bottle of high-volume Spanish wine for lunch, you can fucking bite me.

I'm just saying that there's more there besides my flowing golden locks.

Oh, I know. :orgasm

I've wondered off and on over the years how this place attracts so many people with fucked up gender identities

Hey at least I'm a manly fucking dude... who's afraid of his own shadow.

It's not my fault! I just think it'd be more interesting to be a girl, and I'd feel less disgusted by sex if ejaculation were totally removed from the equation.

Also, you could play with your own breasts for free any time you wanted! Apparently, all women enjoy doing this.

No fucking way am I transitioning, though, I've seen too many horrifying trannies to even think about fucking around with hormone therapy. If brain transplants were possible, I'd totally swap with a like-minded girl, but that will probably never happen.

I could help you with that transition after a couple bottles of sutterhome. A real nice classy transition.

There's no way I'd do a girl with a dude brain. Before you fuck em, you always check the lid, make sure they got the factory installed girl brain.

Well, even if I got myself ladybits, I still wouldn't have sex with men. The point for me would be to get away from semen, which ranks alongside zit pus as the most disgusting substance secreted by the human body.

you just haven't been tasting the right semen

That's what happens when you're sucking cock for the rock.

why do I even talk about my psychological issues here

deep-seated need for abuse?

Yeah, that's probably it.

we're all just as shitty as you anyway, pal

At least none of us are as shitty as Facebook!

This is like the fifth time it's gone down while I'm talking to this pretty girl who likes drinking with me. That website can eat shit for srs.

You gonna scissor with her?

Probably not. I've put off losing my virginity for so long that I'd probably go into conniptions if anyone so much as tried to kiss me. I'm basically terrified of it.

She's cool as fuck, though, I'm glad she beat me up while I was drunk and then forced me to be her friend.

so if you had a vagina, things would be different?

HED BE AFRAID OF HIS OWN VAGINA SHADOW

No, not really, I'd still be a sexually traumatized weirdo, but I think the allure of lesbian sex would overpower my inherent disgust with sins of the flesh.

I can't stress this enough, lesbian sex is THE BEST sex.

you should do it, bro

bro, you should do it

If you can convince a girl that you're an ugly woman, you can scissor her in the dark.