Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

text cock pics to her

no face, though

that's a rookie move

She damn well already knows what my cock looks like

I've taken pictures of my girlfriend sleeping, and then photoshopped things into it that were silly. It's creepy.

I'm definitely getting 'Play Misty For Me' vibes from it, and the fact that my sleeping face looks totally stab-able in the picture doesn't help

text knife pics to her

no face, though

WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING TO GIVE HER IDEAS



BEST PLAN EVER

send her a picture of your penis as though it were a knife and tell her you're going to stab her in the vagina

in self-defense

SO would that mean I photoshop my hand gripping my dick like a knife, or photoshopping it onto a knife handle

Photoshop your arm onto your cock and then a small knife into your cock's hand.

YES

lol

This sounds totally made up. I wish I could remember who I was talking about :(

I do that to my girlfriend when I try and tell her she's sleeping and snoring and she tries to tell me she's just resting her eyes.

BUT WE DON'T, GUS

WE DON'T

MAYBE PUB LOVER DOES THOUGH :(

HE SURE AS HELL DOESN'T

I'm sure he's created numerous photo-realistic composites.

LIKE THE ICELANDIC SCULPTURES OF CTULHU, THE AWE-INSPIRING, TERRIBLE GREATNESS CAN ONLY BE VAGUELY HINTED AT


MY COCK SENDS THE UNWORTHY STRAIGHT TO FUCKING AZATHOTH

It crooks to the right.

Some lady came in to the deli today, with a helper dog. My co-worker immediately blurted out "Why do you have a dog? You don't look blind."
Holy fuck. He's said all kinds of dumb shit, but I've never actually been embarrassed by him before that.

Helper, sic balls.

Haha

It's okay that people ignore my posts. I have very little bandwidth where I go normally on this grand Afghan tour and I rarely have the opportunity to re-load pages. Just as long as some people read it and possibly get a 'heh' out of it.

I just read Ligeia by Edgar Allen Poe. Like. as a book. like made out of paper. I think, i like, book. book. good. bok. i like.

Why is Jimmy Pardo's "Never Not Funny" podcast only occasionally funny? >: