I-Mockery Forum

I-Mockery Forum (http://i-mockery.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Blabber (http://i-mockery.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Guitar Woman Mar 6th, 2008 10:05 PM

I bought a pair today and got off the bus mabye three blocks further away from my house than I usually do, and it took me the better part of two hours to get home

My knees haven't bled this much in 6 years

Guitar Woman Mar 6th, 2008 10:07 PM

they were in line skates, btw, not ye olde faggotry kind

that might have been part of my problem

ElPila666 Mar 6th, 2008 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 536760)
I originally only liked El Pila for his hilarious broken english

Urban Dicktionary always help me to fix my english, actually now i was looking for rollerskating and i found dis:

---------------
-----/\-O--/---
----/--/-\/----
------/--------
-----/--\------
----/----\-----
--LOL---LOL--
---------------

Guitar Woman Mar 6th, 2008 10:16 PM

lollerskates.

Girl Drink Drunk Mar 6th, 2008 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chojin (Post 536600)
one

also, new thread backups!

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15809

mostly for helm on page 2.

Were you, by any chance, reminded of this part, by my post in the "STUPID AMERICANS" thread?

Tadao Mar 6th, 2008 10:30 PM


Guitar Woman Mar 6th, 2008 10:36 PM


Fathom Nero Mar 6th, 2008 10:50 PM

Nice boobs :P

ElPila666 Mar 6th, 2008 11:11 PM

Tadao do you like takeshi Kitano yakuza movies?

JediScum Mar 6th, 2008 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guitar Woman (Post 536760)
also why the fuck is rollerskating so fucking hard

I'm not sure because I promptly gave that shit up around the of 12. My body was way too awkward.

I am talking about skates and not "blades"... I don't know know about inline skating.

But skates, in the early 80's, had one cool effect, which I will bulid towards.

So, yer at the skating rink for yer adolescent mating ritual. You're a 12 year old boy whos balls have just "dropped", just found out that girls "get boobs" maybe a year ago, and are determined to see these "Boobs" in real life.

So you go to the skate rental. You ask for a size 8. All gone. They do have 3 pairs of 6 and a half or 2 sizes in 11.

No 9's? GO FISH!

You don't want the 11's because they are "CLOWN SHOES". So you go for a 6 and a half.

Putting these onto size 8 feet requires about 10 - 15 minutes. While doing this you not only see the grail of boobs which are possessed by an "older woman" (a Freshman in high school, who is also a cheerleader for varsity), but you notice 3-4 NEW arcade games which you must at least try with the 3 dollars yer parents sent you off with.

You skate around feeling like yer gonna fall, AT ANY TIME, unless you skate the rim so you can touch the wall or railing occasionally...

The only time you skate with confidence is when they play Van Halen, Motley Crue, Def Leppard or maybe ZZ TOP from the "Eliminator" LP.

(as an aside... I have NO idea when or why I started writing this in the 2nd person, but just go with it, OK? This is semi-autobiographical)

They play the "Limbo Rock" song, like every week, but since yer flexible (and a damn SEXY BEAST, like the boob queen will find out, many years later when she's a crack whore you randomly see in a bar), you actually make the top 3.

But you still get third, because even though, you COULD squeeze underneath 14 inches of space, YOU CAN'T DO IT IN THESE GODFORSAKEN 6 AND A HALF SKATES, MAN!!!!

You stick around though, just to see who does make 1st and 2nd, even though it's usually the same two people, they just trade places sometimes. But this is the week that you notice that they BOTH WEAR A SIZE 8 ROLLER SKATE AND IT'S A RENTAL!!!! AND THEY ARE 19 SKATING OFF WITH THE 15 YEAR OLD CHEERLEADER BOOB QUEEN!!!!!

About this time, the "Couple Skate" songs come on. So, in anger, you go play the 3 new video games you spotted. Yer money's gone before 5 minutes is up.

So you just give up. It takes another 10 minutes or so to get the footbinding skates off. You put yer street shoes back on. And walk around....

And then, "THE ONE COOL EFFECT" I mentioned earlier happens.

YER LEGS AND FEET ARE LIGHT!!! It's like walking in zero gravity, almost.
You almost feel like Cherubim from Heaven above are singing ... To YOUR FEET and your feet alone. It is, really truly amazing... the sensation.

On yer way out, you give the Boob Queen a 5 second stare... memorizing every nuance of the boobs. Judging by skin tone, and hair color which seems natural, you estimate nipple and areola size and color...

and when you meet her in the bar, twenty years later, you realize you were 90% correct. But it only cost you 5 bucks to see 'em, and another 10 for a wicked, toothless crack whore blowjob.

Guitar Woman Mar 6th, 2008 11:40 PM

I'm with willie concerning who I'd karate kick off a bridge.

Tadao Mar 6th, 2008 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElPila666 (Post 536785)
Tadao do you like takeshi Kitano yakuza movies?

While I hold Beat Takeshi in the highest regard, Akira Kurosawa is my personal favorite film maker. Next time capitalize his name or I'll take one of your fingers.

JediScum Mar 6th, 2008 11:46 PM

how does willie know one of my managers at work?

Pub Lover Mar 7th, 2008 12:05 PM

Not Safe For Willie:
Spoilers!

Emu Mar 7th, 2008 02:41 PM

Remember when Chojin was a Gay Alien Bondage Dog?

I remember.

Chojin Mar 8th, 2008 04:17 AM

those were simpler times!

like, before I grew up.

Zomboid Mar 8th, 2008 06:43 AM

:rolleyes

Chojin Mar 8th, 2008 07:08 AM

it's ok zomboid i will still go to furcon wif u

Fathom Zero Mar 8th, 2008 03:49 PM

I bought No More Heroes today.

I don't quite own a Wii yet.

Zomboid Mar 8th, 2008 06:40 PM

Man, it sucks looking at the veteran posters list and noticing how many of them don't post anymore. I miss ziggy and dole :(

Great Mighty Poo Mar 9th, 2008 01:06 AM

...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 536776)

This reminds me of the Rock in Get Shorty. Or was that Be Cool? Whatever. If this guy ere a bit bulkier you would have Gay-Rock action. "Your not woman enough to take my man!"

Emu Mar 9th, 2008 02:59 PM

When I look over the article comments forum I notice a lot of the people who post there regularly don't post on the main forums at all.

It's like a whole 'nother world.

And it's populated by furries.

liquidstatik Mar 9th, 2008 04:36 PM

i've never even read those forums :o

liquidstatik Mar 9th, 2008 04:40 PM

ew i never wanna go there again

liquidstatik Mar 9th, 2008 04:41 PM

out of the 5 yrs or so i've been on these forums, i've read maybe a total of 2 articles[never all the way thru, tho :x]


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:50 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.