Oh christ bollocks shit.

I knew was waiting.

I was waiting so hard that I tried to post when I knew I should not have.

More Dylan's Nipples.

Hating on others is actually a very good way to make me want to die less actually. :eek

It makes me feel a big man.

I see. Although I had a charming image in my head of you sailing home for a refresher course on insults.

elx if it makes you feel any better, i could be convinced to have random sex with you.

maybe if you bought me a nice dinner first.

also kitsa why are you surprised that your bones are exploding if all you're eating is candy

I was being a tad facetious. My generally round appearance belies the fact that I eat a relatively healthy diet. We buy quinoa in bulk and I have my own vegetable and strawberry gardens. I barely ever touch fast or fried food; the grease makes me ill. Damned genes.

I'm just irritated to have once again landed in the hospital in spite of my best efforts, that's all.

i recommend steroids.

Just do what I do! Get prescribed high doses of atypical antipsychotics like Latuda and Abilify because they'll make you drop a shit-ton of weight while still being able to eat all of the unhealthy food that you want! Also smoke heavily and get a respiratory infection at the same time every year, I don't know if that helps with the weight loss, but I do it anyway.

:love

I'm not doing any more fucking steroids...you should have seen me when I was on them during radiation therapy, I looked like Jabba the Hutt

yeah cause that clearly has worked so well

Considering I've managed to lose about ten pounds over the last week, I'd say it's working quite well, aside from the fact that I no longer sleep at night and occasionally faint from low blood sugar.

Also I should have clarified what I said: you can eat as much as you want and whatever you want since you'll be too tired/unmotivated to eat anything aside from one small meal a day, if you're lucky.

As I was rolling up the front passenger-side window in my car, it suddenly died. This brings the total number of busted window motors in that car to 3. Once the driver's side one goes, I think I'll just have to try and pawn it off on some charity. Fuck you, Buick.

Also, who the hell puts a cassette player in a 2000 model car?

I WISH I had a cassette player in my car, I'm driving my Grandfather's rusted piece of shit DeSoto and the radio doesn't even work, because I'm sure it has a family of dead rats in there if not a severed human hand. Nothing says fun on the road like driving for three hours with the windows rolled up with no air-conditioning so you can hear the pinhole speaker on your iPod touch!

I guess I should be thankful for getting a free car, but it looks like grandpa's found a way to screw me over and make me look ungrateful even while he's rotting in the ground!

That's why you need to get manual everything son. I turned my car off earlier with my window only half way up and was like "Better crank it the rest of the way up with my bicep.

Happy birthday Emu. Level 29 Q->

I can'teven focus

shoot the arrow straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would have made a greater effort to find a car with manual shit if I had known the electrical system would slowly burn out every part from the windows to the ignition. Also, the oil pressure gauge is permanently maxed out.

And incidentally, the car I rented the last time my car was in the shop had manual windows, and it was a great car.

my dad's jeep has that problem, and when they took it to the dealership for a fix they tried to tell him that it was caused by his taping the window up.

Uh, no, taping the window up came after the damn window motor failed.

^^^ It never ceases to amaze me - the inherent stupidity of the human race.

Effect, meet cause. :\

And I wonder why the government can't balance the budget. :lol2

Computer problems=solved :D

Man bought a brand new one, found the disks to rejig mammas. The universe rights itself once more.

Because women have to mother their men. :eek

I was also going to make a joke about short men but I feel too sick by your gross loveline nonsense. All of you should be ashamed. :x

Shush you! Now lick my boot.

Ahh, there's nothing quite so satisfying as running into someone who used to torment you for your looks, only to find they've grown quite fat and unattractive in the intervening years :)

Ah, fat triple-chinned, big-assed contentment :)

Was behind this guy today.

I didn't even have to wait until after high-school to find out that most of the jerks that annoyed me either got busted for running meth labs, got knocked up by a member of the football team and dropped out, or got shot by a surly Korean while trying to rob a liquor store. South Carolina is kind of like a failure timewarp.

Also my eyesight's not very good, is Gizmo flipping me off?

Man next time it rains his roof is fucked

He is indeed.

Of course, even this is a far cry from my usual move where I punch a girl in the tit as hard as I can and throw my arms up in the air like a prizefighter.

Do you then yank on her pigtails and snap her bra strap?

naw, I towel off the blood and walk out the room like a pimp

All of my encounters like that happen in a room of my house specially designed to resemble the "action room" from Videodrome and I make the girls stick their hands in my chest-VCR.

SMOKE BLUNTZ WATCH PONIEZ

edit: the hell, I edited the thread title why didnt it change

DOUBLE EDIT: NEVERMIND I'M GONNA GO WATCH WITH MY SISTERS

Was that the service writer? The best way to deal with that is sneak into the work area and ask the mechanics why they think it was the tape causing the issue. You'll be escorted out due to no customers in the work areas. Service writer will get a demerit and eventually get fired for trying to slip in advice.

PS: I agree for manual everything unless you work on your car!

dear fatties of the world: losing a lot of weight in one or two weeks doesn't mean anything. it's likely from a highly variable source like water and will return by the end of the month. also prz stop being so obsessed with weight because your body contains many more things than fat which you can gain or lose. the 10 pounds was probably your liver and kidneys escaping and leaving with all their luggage. get caliper'd or try on tighter clothes and then see how it goes, and you can stop lying to yourself.

i was going to continue this post with a discussion of PSMFs/low-carb diets and Clen, but then I remembered that I'm the only person here who actually knows anything slash cares slash fuck you

i might be extra aggressive from my trip to the gym in retrospect

Everyone's just afraid that if they get into shape, they'll end up acting fucking weird about it like you.

I guess insanity is the price we pay for those six packs.

COME AT ME BRO COME AT ME BRO YOU MIRIN BRO YOU MERLIN MY GAINZ BRO

i think my pathological hatred of fat people stems from me formerly being one and seeing how easy it actually is to educate yourself and fix it. it's a combination of the simplicity of doing it, the disrespect for the self in not doing it, and a hatred of my past self on a Karkat level

He's right though. Fat hate is fun too.

Work out, eat healthy, exercise, WE'LL ALL END UP IN THE FUCKING GROUND ANYWAY :(

Jack Lalanne didn't even live to 100 like that pussy George Burns

Death would be too busy mirin my sick abs

why improve your life when it's just going to end? with that reasoning, why ever do anything? bracing myself for WAY AHEAD OF YOU THERE BUDDY HA HA

fat people tend to act like they're enjoying a neverending festival of culinary delights equivalent to a nonstop train of blowjobs from swimsuit models. i hear the "life's too short, enjoy yourself" shit a lot (second to excuses about genetics, invulnerability to caloric deficits, and the like). thing is, fatties hate themselves, they aren't satisfied with their lives, and not spending every evening ordering pizza is just not that fucking difficult. enjoy triggering your natural responses to oversatiety for a brief chemical rush, assholes. if you'd just jerk off every time you had the desire to eat a stuffed crust, you'd have the same effect without becoming a burden on society. being slovenly and gluttonous is fun for about 12 hours; making it a lifestyle just causes you to hate yourself and me to hate you. SOCIETY IS BENDING TO YOUR WILL BECAUSE YOU ARE POWERLESS TO NOT SPEND YOUR MONEY ON SHIT TO TEMPORARILY FILL YOUR FLESHY EUPHORIA CREVICES. YOU ARE UNABLE TO CONTROL YOUR MOST BASIC DESIRES. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT AN ANIMAL. YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN A RAPIST.

i once left a comment like that on a "fat acceptance" video and probably ruined some peoples' afternoons

they had a fat awareness thing at my school once

i guess its ok to be fat now

it is not either

I left a similar comment on a fat acceptance video as well. For six months it was the top rated comment, but then was removed.

I had a fat table in my section this evening. A round top table meant to seat eight people and three fatties took up the entire thing because they couldn't fit into any of our booths. One of them ordered three orders of cheese fries, that comes out to well over two pounds of cheese (around 10000 calories), another ordered a full rack of ribs and a kid burger (over 3500 calories), the last ordered a ribeye and a small order of ribs (around 2000 calories). They each had a Diet Coke as well.

Who even needs to eat when you've got fucking cocaine?

Dude I'm totally living a fat lifestyle minus the fat, suck it Chojin

I put on some sunglasses while typing that post btw

i try to hate skinny nerds who do all the shit i mentioned too, but i find that i frequently pity them instead.

really i think i only hate fat people who try to rationalize their fatness, or people who are so goddamn fat that it causes them to have special needs. how do you even let that happen.

When are you gonna learn that you should just hate people for being people man, no additional reasons necessary

Skinny kids are way more arrogant than fat people. Some of the things I've seen skinny fags say at work leads me to believe that about half of their body weight comes from their balls.

this thread is making me crave foods, but i'm already at my limit for the day

good thing i have an ounce of willpower!

I'm going to go eat 1 1/2 leftover pizzas now.

don't forget to update your livejournal with a poem about how no one understands your pain first

if my weight ever brings me to the point where i need a cane to walk the next thing i'm gonna eat is a bullet

kool kids use tumblr now, retard

get your internet right

willie, I don't think you're quite like the fat people we're referring to. you look like you ripped out of a bear uterus fully grown and punch holes in trees. Fat people run out of breath eating ice cream.

I do wish Chojin would start capping us fat fucks like the worthless dogs we are. :(

I've been thinking about getting a tattoo. Whatever it is, it will be very small and modest.
I was thinking something Doom related. One thought was getting iddqd in the doom font and font size 6 somewhere. Maybe with the Skulltag logo.

can i still use the power of self-loathing to get down to a 2xl shirt again :(

Wait on getting a tattoo for at least 6 months. If you still want it in 6 months then get it.

Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm on the line about tattoos; I like them, but I want to be damn sure I'll like the tattoo. I can wait on it.

Definitely make sure its something you're going to be able to live with. You can also have them do a trace of it on you usually. That way you can see if you like it for a few days. So you can check out the placement/size too.

I don't see the point of getting tattooes on a whim.

For my next one I'm getting

10kvg, that is badass and I totally support that as a tattoo. I don't think I'll ever get a tat, but that is one of my top 5 choices if i did.

e: regarding fattie acceptance, it's prob because something like 37% of the US is obese. Also i like to think no one is ever happy with their bodies.
also fatties on scooters is rediculous. fuck yall i'm carrying 40 pounds of text books on my back, i'm not moving completely off the sidewalk no matter how much you 'honk'

HOORAY!!

I never buy the shit about obesity, 37 percent of americans are just FAT. no matter what any healthcare professional says, obese means that you look like a pasty version of a black actor's fatsuit. Obese means that you are too fat for a seatbelt.

Fat is when you look down in the shower and can't see your dick. REALLY fat is when you can't see your dick even after sucking in your gut. "Obese" is only accurate when your name is Kevin Smith

obese is a clinical term that describes people with a certain % of bodyfat (>25% for men, higher for women). it is really not difficult to get that fat.

what you're describing is morbid obesity.

I honestly didn't notice my change in weight until I tried on a pair of jeans, that I had put in the back of the closet because they were a couple of sizes too small, while getting rid of clothes I didn't want anymore. All of the pairs that were previously too small fit pretty well and all of my regular pants fit a lot better. I might have been exaggerating a bit when I said in two weeks, as I have been on a different medication (lurasidone) for about two months and my doctor said that it might help curb my appetite. There's also the fact that I've been so unmotivated to do anything, including eating full size meals and more than around once a day. Frankly, it's just awesome to wear a belt-buckle and people be able to see it, since it's not obscured by a paunch.

Also since instead of just hitching a ride everywhere in place of walking across town to get places I've been getting something resembling exercise.
:pagebrak

if you aren't doing anaerobic exercise at all, your fat loss will quickly become muscle loss as you approach the threshold of obesity. do yourself a favor and download "convict conditioning" or something and do it in your copious spare time. no equipment needed except maybe a doorframe chinup bar.

Thanx for the advice! I'm also trying to keep from sleeping all day due to my insomnia by finding shit to do when I'm not in class or working, so I'm probably going to renew my Y membership that hasn't had its fees paid in the years since I ballooned from about 140 pounds to around 220.

Before I got too mopey and "NOBODIE LUBS MEEEEEE!" Livejournal depressed to do anything I used to swim for hours on end, it's really depressing to realize that I've completely lost any muscle tone that I may have had.

Tattoo options - Gerd Antz stylee, or some massive back covering hammer and sickle. Am I happy with my body, however? Yes.

Zhukov: Both of those sound awesome, but I really like the Antz one.

Question for Chojin: Considering I'll probably never develop any kind of real muscle tone, but will probably get some coupled with continued weight loss, should I be worried about warping/deforming my tattoos? They're on either arm and there's one on my lower leg.

I love coming home from work and checking my webcam to see that my crank smoking roommate was rifling through my closet, likely for shit to sell. Fun!

What are you going to do about it?

The last time I caught him I confronted him which ended up in a shouting match and him storming off. This time will likely be the same. I'm in a rough spot and can't afford to move out otherwise I would've done that months ago.

What really sucks is that he's one of my closest friends that i've known for the last 11 years. :(

put locks on all your shit

then he'll steal your computer instead

Yeah I think i'm going to have to resort to this for the time being. I've noticed a few DVDs and a few 360 games missing here or there but he just claims that they are in his filthy room somewhere. Seriously I really need to post pics of his DISGUSTINGLY FILTHY GARBAGE ROOM here sometime. You really can't find anything in there it is so terribly filthy. I haven't seen the carpet since a few months after we moved into our apt. which was back in Feb 2010. Also sometimes change goes missing (I bartend and have a lot of quarters). Like I said though he's a very close friend and although I want to just cut of all ties to him I feel compelled to try to help him because he has one hell of a drug problem.

depends, how fat are you now? for the most part i'd assume the tattoos would get more concentrated in color, like drawing something on a balloon and then deflating it

THE ESOTERIC ORDER OF THE BEARDED ONE CONTINUES TO SCHEME FOUL PLOTS AND SUMMON ELDRITCH HORROS FROM BEYOND THE GATES OF TIME

Can you maybe get him evicted for this? or for stealing? or drug use. dunno if you do drugs though.
sometimes criminal activity is grounds for immediate eviction. especially drugs.

dunno what the laws are like wherever you live though. or if you can afford to evict him. I just assume if he's stealing shit from you he's not paying rent. :lol

Locked myself out of my new flat today, so I'm spending the night over at my mum's. I feel like such a useless and moronic twat.

Oh god what the fuck, guys, my laptop screen flipped sideways last night.

As in, the monitor is displaying sideways.

If I sit up straight to type this it's like Matrix raining code.

What the fuck.

have you tried alt+ctrl+ arrowkeys to see if that changes the orientation, sometimes that's how that happens

edit: if not, what model laptop you got, it may be a different shortcut

Thanks, willie, that fixed it. I must have rolled over the keyboard while I was sleeping or something.

What the fuck, though, I didn't even know that was a thing you could do. I'm going to try browsing upside down more often.

yeah I don't know why that's available on laptops, it's pretty neat on a desktop with a monitor that can change orientation so you can read webpages longways

When I was renting a guest house in Oregon, I did the same thing. I sort of inchwormed up nine feet to this tiny sliding bathroom window by keeping my back to the chimney of the main house while keeping my feet on the guesthouse wall. Kicked in the window, pushed my feet through and twisted so that the rest of me could follow

I was all mission impossible an shit

this one drunk lady locked herself out of her car during the summer in a town where theres 110 degree weather

she tried to get into her house through the chimney

she got stuck in the chimney and died.

AND THAT'S HOW I FOUND OUT THERE WAS NO SANTA CLAUS

i mean house not car lol

willie that was really irritating, don't make me have to correct admin abuse of the rep system again

I liked it more before you corrected it! "Well shit! I done locked myself out mah car, best go home. Oops, door's locked, too! Well, ah kin jest go down the chimney!" and that's what happens when you don't go to school, kids. Or maybe that happens when you're retarded. Either one works.

rep is srs bsnss