I-Mockery Forum - I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

Fathom Zero

Oct 12th, 2011 10:31 PM

text cock pics to her

no face, though

that's a rookie move

Grislygus

Oct 12th, 2011 10:34 PM

She damn well already knows what my cock looks like

k0k0	Oct 12th, 2011 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746510)

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

I've taken pictures of my girlfriend sleeping, and then photoshopped things into it that were silly. It's creepy.

Grislygus

Oct 12th, 2011 10:41 PM

I'm definitely getting 'Play Misty For Me' vibes from it, and the fact that my sleeping face looks totally stab-able in the picture doesn't help

Fathom Zero

Oct 12th, 2011 10:43 PM

text knife pics to her

no face, though

Grislygus

Oct 12th, 2011 10:58 PM

WHY WOULD I DO ANYTHING TO GIVE HER IDEAS

BEST PLAN EVER

kahljorn

Oct 12th, 2011 10:59 PM

send her a picture of your penis as though it were a knife and tell her you're going to stab her in the vagina

in self-defense

Grislygus

Oct 12th, 2011 11:01 PM

SO would that mean I photoshop my hand gripping my dick like a knife, or photoshopping it onto a knife handle

k0k0	Oct 12th, 2011 11:03 PM

Photoshop your arm onto your cock and then a small knife into your cock's hand.

Grislygus

Oct 12th, 2011 11:06 PM

YES

Esuohlim

Oct 12th, 2011 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 330574)

I just found out that my friend's uncle was the guy that got stabbed in the Real World sketch on Chappelle's Show :eek

lol

This sounds totally made up. I wish I could remember who I was talking about :(

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 12th, 2011 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746510)

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to distract from and ignore Hickman. MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING. IS THIS CREEPY OR NOT. I THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT SHE'S HOT. SO NEGATED CREEPY?

I do that to my girlfriend when I try and tell her she's sleeping and snoring and she tries to tell me she's just resting her eyes.

Esuohlim

Oct 12th, 2011 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746512)

She damn well already knows what my cock looks like

BUT WE DON'T, GUS

WE DON'T

MAYBE PUB LOVER DOES THOUGH :(

Grislygus

Oct 12th, 2011 11:41 PM

HE SURE AS HELL DOESN'T

Fathom Zero

Oct 12th, 2011 11:43 PM

I'm sure he's created numerous photo-realistic composites.

Grislygus

Oct 12th, 2011 11:48 PM

LIKE THE ICELANDIC SCULPTURES OF CTULHU, THE AWE-INSPIRING, TERRIBLE GREATNESS CAN ONLY BE VAGUELY HINTED AT

MY COCK SENDS THE UNWORTHY STRAIGHT TO FUCKING AZATHOTH

Fathom Zero

Oct 12th, 2011 11:54 PM

It crooks to the right.

LordSappington

Oct 13th, 2011 01:38 AM

Some lady came in to the deli today, with a helper dog. My co-worker immediately blurted out "Why do you have a dog? You don't look blind."
Holy fuck. He's said all kinds of dumb shit, but I've never actually been embarrassed by him before that.

Kitsa

Oct 13th, 2011 06:48 AM

Helper, sic balls.

LordSappington

Oct 13th, 2011 08:37 AM

Zhukov

Oct 13th, 2011 10:03 AM

Haha

HickMan

Oct 13th, 2011 01:22 PM

It's okay that people ignore my posts. I have very little bandwidth where I go normally on this grand Afghan tour and I rarely have the opportunity to re-load pages. Just as long as some people read it and possibly get a 'heh' out of it.

ThrashO

Oct 13th, 2011 03:28 PM

I just read Ligeia by Edgar Allen Poe. Like. as a book. like made out of paper. I think, i like, book. book. good. bok. i like.

Esuohlim

Oct 13th, 2011 04:25 PM

Why is Jimmy Pardo's "Never Not Funny" podcast only occasionally funny? >:

Esuohlim

Oct 13th, 2011 04:29 PM

Granted I only listened to the very very first five episodes, but I think Pardo is obnoxious and the other two dudes are the funny ones.

I remember watching Pardo's Comedy Central special way long ago and finding it obnoxious too. But everyone loves him! I don't get it.

Other guy: It's what they call "close betting".
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING "CLOTHES BETTING" BECAUSE I LIKE THE SHIRT I'VE GOT ON, THANK YOU VERY MUCH :HAHAHAHA"

He does that constantly.

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 13th, 2011 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 746628)

IT IS MY DUTY AS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN TO READ YOUR POSTS.

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 13th, 2011 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 746641)

Thats a terrible joke but I'm not above using it either.

Fathom Zero

Oct 13th, 2011 04:33 PM

I'd use it around every person I'd recently met and immediately didn't like.

Esuohlim

Oct 13th, 2011 04:45 PM

There's another one too where it's like

Other guy: I swear to you, it was like the dude was lying under oath!
Jimmy Pardo: NOW WHEN YOU SAY THAT ARE YOU SAYING THAT THE GUY WAS LYING FACE-DOWN ON THE FLOOR WITH A BIG PIECE OF PAPER ON TOP OF HIM THAT JUST SAYS "OATH" IN BIG BOLD LETTERS :HAHAHAHA

This is a professional comedian we're talking about here

ThrashO

Oct 13th, 2011 04:58 PM

holy shit thats terrible

NOW WHEN YOU SAY HOLY SHIT ARE WE TALKIN' ABOUT A PRIEST BLESSIN' ONE OF MY JOKES :HAHAHA

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 13th, 2011 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 746646)

Sounds more like a part time dad.

Esuohlim

Oct 13th, 2011 04:59 PM

I'm totally going to be the dad that makes jokes like that all the time :(

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 13th, 2011 05:54 PM

http://www.dadsbadjokes.com/

:(

Fathom Zero

Oct 13th, 2011 08:08 PM

Rongi

Oct 13th, 2011 08:35 PM

That song marks the exact time David Bowie started to suck :(

Babs	Oct 13th, 2011 10:01 PM

"Oh baby just you shut your mouth"

Haven't been around here in awhile and let me say, I think of you guys. Been just really busy with a crap job as of late, hopefully in a week or less I'll be able to come back on here and post away and entertain you guys with my boring old self. TAKE LOTS OF CARE IN THE MEAN TIME!:halloween

Shyandquietguy

Oct 13th, 2011 11:09 PM

Next you'll tell me you won't post again.

kahljorn

Oct 14th, 2011 12:09 AM

so guys

if i pay my registration at the DMv will i get my tags right away?

or will it still come through the mail

Shyandquietguy

Oct 14th, 2011 12:22 AM

They will do it by mail.

Because they hate you.

ThrashO

Oct 14th, 2011 12:23 AM

kahl how old are u

Shyandquietguy

Oct 14th, 2011 12:24 AM

Old enough to ignore you.

kahljorn

Oct 14th, 2011 01:16 AM

YEA

so i might as well just pay this shit online then

Shyandquietguy

Oct 14th, 2011 01:19 AM

So?

Pay it online so you can ignore getting them from the office.

kahljorn

Oct 14th, 2011 01:31 AM

my tags are like 2 years old. so i wanted to get them from the office if there was a chance i could get them right away, to avoid being on the road with really old tags. ;/ i dont want to get pulled over.

hence why i asked if i would get them right away :(

Fathom Zero

Oct 14th, 2011 01:31 AM

I petition to schedule a Synchtube for the near future.

Shyandquietguy

Oct 14th, 2011 01:41 AM

Kahl, your car is old enough, buy a new one.

;(

Fathom good luck with that on the internet.

executioneer

Oct 14th, 2011 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 746691)

well i don't know CA but in washington they give em to you right away

ThrashO

Oct 14th, 2011 03:12 AM

IF YOU TOLD ME HOW OLD U WERE I COULD TELL YOU HOW TO GET THEM RIGHT AWAY >:

kahljorn

Oct 14th, 2011 03:27 AM

I FEEL AS THOUGH IM ABOUT TO BE DECIEVED

thanks willie i guess ill drive down there tomorrow and pick them up

ThrashO

Oct 14th, 2011 03:42 AM

yeah i dont know shit i was just curious

>:

kahljorn

Oct 14th, 2011 03:57 AM

GUESS YOULL HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY BRITHDAT

Fathom Zero

Oct 14th, 2011 03:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shyandquietguy (Post 746693)

Kahl, your car is old enough, buy a new one.

;(

Fathom good luck with that on the internet.

well excuse me for trying to parlay the energy that fuels such quality posts into something probably mediocre

Esuohlim

Oct 14th, 2011 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 746692)

I petition to schedule a Synchtube for the near future.

But I just readjusted to a normal sleep schedule ;_;

Esuohlim

Oct 14th, 2011 09:35 AM

j/k, good night guys

Fathom Zero

Oct 14th, 2011 09:51 AM

maybe you should readjust into not being a bitch

k0k0	Oct 14th, 2011 10:05 AM

I finally readjusted my sleep schedule too. It took over a week! I had to go to sleep 2 hours early each day until it finally kind of rolled back to normal.

Fathom Zero

Oct 14th, 2011 10:11 AM

That's normally what happens to me, especially so when I'm at school. I've lost track of what day it is. Not really a good thing when you've got to be at a lot of different classes on different days.

executioneer

Oct 14th, 2011 11:21 AM

haha i can only make dramatic adjustments to my sleep schedule by skipping sleep for a day :(

Rongi

Oct 14th, 2011 02:37 PM

so there's this hawt punk rock chick in my bio class that i've been talking to lately. she's got a lip ring and long black hair and nerd glasses and she wears iggy pop t-shirts sometimes and basically i want to fuck her real bad but i haven't gotten her number yet because i'm a coward.

also she's 24 and i'm 21 does that matter

help me out here, nerds

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 14th, 2011 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 746681)

so guys

if i pay my registration at the DMv will i get my tags right away?

or will it still come through the mail

They usually have to mail them to you because they need to be made by prisoners first.

Fathom Zero

Oct 14th, 2011 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 746724)

Do it, fgt.

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 14th, 2011 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi (Post 746724)

You need to wear a punk rockier shirt than her, notice her once or twice and not pay her any attention. Do you need me to drive down there and show you how its done. Cuz I'll get her number then give it to some jock.

Rongi

Oct 14th, 2011 03:11 PM

I would ask for it on monday but i have class right after bio

WHAT DO I DO

Fathom Zero

Oct 14th, 2011 03:15 PM

QUIT BEING A LITTLE BITCH BABY AND SAY "HEY, YOU WANNA GET SOME COFFEE LATER?"

BAM

Rongi

Oct 14th, 2011 03:16 PM

...shit yeah i guess it is that simple. IVE EVEN FUCKING DONE THAT BEFORE WITH OTHER GIRLS

thnx fz xoxox

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 14th, 2011 03:16 PM

HOT COFFEE

Fathom Zero

Oct 14th, 2011 03:20 PM

HOT DICKINGS

Fathom Zero

Oct 14th, 2011 03:21 PM

WITH DICK COFFEE

executioneer

Oct 14th, 2011 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 746727)

They usually have to mail them to you because they need to be made by prisoners first.

nah thats license plates not registration tabs

LordSappington

Oct 14th, 2011 05:26 PM

I've procrastinated enough; it's time to make my motherfucking pumpkin pie cheesecake, bitches

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 14th, 2011 05:37 PM

Just found my new favorite drink. No idea how it tastes yet

This is seriously the campaign for it.

Rongi

Oct 14th, 2011 05:41 PM

Hahahahaha

Sexism is BACK, baby

Kitsa

Oct 14th, 2011 06:27 PM

I hope it has extra prune juice and ends up giving a bunch of guys the shits.

Sam	Oct 14th, 2011 06:30 PM

RONGI

DOES UNCLE SAMMY HAVE TO FLY OVER THERE AND SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE?

BECAUSE I'LL DRINK ALL YOUR BOOZE AND SMOKE ALL YOUR WEED AND BANG ALL YOUR WOMEN.

AND IF YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS I'LL MAKE FUN OF THEM AND THEY'LL HATE YOU FOREVER.

Emu	Oct 14th, 2011 07:55 PM

Hi guys.

Sam	Oct 14th, 2011 08:26 PM

YOU'RE NEXT.

kahljorn

Oct 14th, 2011 08:52 PM

SAM WONt Smoke ANYBODIES WEED OR EAT ANY WEED BROWNIES

Sam	Oct 14th, 2011 08:57 PM

I'M A REBEL BABY

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 14th, 2011 09:16 PM

A BABY REBEL

Sam	Oct 14th, 2011 09:17 PM

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 14th, 2011 09:22 PM

A MUPPET BABY REBEL

executioneer

Oct 14th, 2011 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 746747)

hurrrr

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 14th, 2011 09:33 PM

:pickle

kahljorn

Oct 14th, 2011 10:32 PM

FREUDIAN EMOTICON SLIP

HickMan

Oct 14th, 2011 11:57 PM

CAPSCAPSCAPS I'M LEAVING WHERE I'M CURRENTLY AT SOON, WHICH IS GOOD. WORKING OUT IN A POLISH GYM IS WEIRD BECAUSE EVERYONE STARES AT YOU LIKE THEY WANT TO RAPE YOU AND THEY ALL LIFT REALLY LIGHT WEIGHT AND YOU HAVE TO CONVERT EVERYTHING FROM KG TO LB SUCH A PAIN
<3 U GUYS

Grislygus

Oct 15th, 2011 01:29 AM

SINCE THEY'RE POLISH THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF THERE'S ANY CHANCE THAT YOU'RE A FAN OF A RIVAL SOCCER TEAM WHO NEEDS HIS TEETH IMMEDIATELY PUMMELED INTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD WITH A BRICK

Grislygus

Oct 15th, 2011 01:30 AM

AND THEN RAPED

Grislygus

Oct 15th, 2011 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746793)

AND THEN RAPED

WITH THE STUMP OF A BROKEN BEER BOTTLE

Grislygus

Oct 15th, 2011 01:31 AM

IT'S ALL KINDS OF VICIOUS SEXY IN POLAND

ThrashO

Oct 15th, 2011 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HickMan (Post 746778)

AND YOU HAVE TO CONVERT EVERYTHING FROM KG TO LB SUCH A PAIN

MarioRPG

Oct 15th, 2011 02:03 PM

Yeah america, join the rest of the world. And start emaciating yourselves too.

Grislygus

Oct 15th, 2011 03:11 PM

WE'LL GLADLY KEEP OUR FUCKTARDED MEASUREMENT SYSTEM, THANK YOU. WE'LL CELEBRATING BY CONTINUING TO DRINK ALCOHOL IN OUR SPORTS STADIUMS, AS GOD INTENDED

THEN WE'LL STARE IN A PUZZLED WAY AT THE POOR BASTARDS ACROSS THE OCEAN DRINKING BAVRIL

Rongi

Oct 15th, 2011 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 746804)

Thrash0 you kind of suck lately

Or maybe you've always sucked and I just recently noticed it

Either way you suck

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 15th, 2011 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus (Post 746831)

AMEN

Shyandquietguy

Oct 15th, 2011 04:22 PM

Thrash0 IS terrible and always has been terrible, Rongi.

I regret ever acknowledging him making anything funny.

PS: Thrash0 do you hate it when you get cut off by them gangsta thugz? I do too.

liquidstatik

Oct 15th, 2011 05:31 PM

kahljorn

Oct 15th, 2011 06:23 PM

I believe you can call him toll free at 1-800-234-6281

10,000 Volt Ghost

Oct 15th, 2011 07:48 PM

He might be with admiral schmidlap though.