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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Rongi Jan 30th, 2012 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 754369)
speaking of sex since we're talking about sex, does anybody know anybody that has ever had a fuck buddy? is that an actual practice or one of those fictional unattainable ideas?

uh the girl i lost my virginity to was basically a fuck buddy. after getting to know her and her craziness, i didn't want to date her. but i also didn't want to stop having sex. she wasn't interested in dating either, so we just hung out a lot and had sex. It was unfulfilling and weird, but i figured it would be good experience for when i eventually meet someone i like/care about. also, it was sex and even bad sex is ok. She eventually got emotionally attached and i cut contact with her. if this sounds callous, consider this: she once convinced me for three days that i got her pregnant and that she was going to keep the baby. on the third day she told me she was only testing me. after that i decided not to talk to her anymore

i don't really enjoy sex unless it's with someone i have an emotional attachment to. so maybe i am that demisexual thing

but i haven't had sex in a really long time. i'm basically convinced that i am not what girls my age are looking for. i would probably be better off devoting my energies to studying and getting in shape. but working out just makes me more sexually frustrated. i sincerely wish that i could take medication to get rid of my libido. so much this libido interferes with my life

Zhukov Jan 30th, 2012 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx
speaking of sex since we're talking about sex, does anybody know anybody that has ever had a fuck buddy? is that an actual practice or one of those fictional unattainable ideas?


I just finalised the paper-work on a fuck buddy in the last few days, actually. We were good friends, and I always had a bit of a crush on her, she got drunk one night and discovered that she had a crush on me too., and ended up having a casual fling. I eventually realised I preferred her company to the sex, and thought I had better end it before she got too attached and someone got hurt. It probably wasn't going to happen that way, but I was worried.

So we were both pretty happy to just be friends again, because the worry was causing me to not enjoy the sex, I think, and she admitted to getting too hung up on a relationship, even though she didn't actually want one. It was a mutual thing.

I thought that was the end of it until a few days ago we were talking about neither of us had a problem with friends who just had sex, and she suggested we try it with no strings attached.

I'll let you know how it goes, if you are that interested. We're both pretty laid back and non-crazy emotional people, and I think that's what you need for it to work.

zeldasbiggestfan Jan 30th, 2012 03:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 754376)
I just finalised the paper-work on a fuck buddy in the last few days, actually. We were good friends, and I always had a bit of a crush on her, she got drunk one night and discovered that she had a crush on me too., and ended up having a casual fling. I eventually realised I preferred her company to the sex, and thought I had better end it before she got too attached and someone got hurt. It probably wasn't going to happen that way, but I was worried.

So we were both pretty happy to just be friends again, because the worry was causing me to not enjoy the sex, I think, and she admitted to getting too hung up on a relationship, even though she didn't actually want one. It was a mutual thing.

I thought that was the end of it until a few days ago we were talking about neither of us had a problem with friends who just had sex, and she suggested we try it with no strings attached.

I'll let you know how it goes, if you are that interested. We're both pretty laid back and non-crazy emotional people, and I think that's what you need for it to work.

Man, don't let it backfire on you. Being fuck buddies is cool and all, and if you stay honest things can go well. But make sure you aren't lying to her, and especially yourself, if you say you just wanna be fuck buddies. There was a girl I had a fling with recently and it was fucking great. No strings attached, we'd fuck and hang out. I actually wound up falling for her pretty hard I guess. But we knew it couldn't last and when she went off to U of I it was decided that "When we're together we're together, and when we're apart, we aren't". When I saw her the next time with another guy in her apartment it hurt a lot more than I thought it would have, and I was angry at her. But really, I only got mad at her for doing what she wanted, which is exactly what I said she could do. So really, I ended up just being pissed at myself..

So don't lie to yourself. If you really are cool with being just fuck buddies and neither of you can get attached, then totally go for it. Just don't wind up shooting yourself in the foot.

We're still cool though.. it panned out. I guess.. if you can say that haha

kahljorn Jan 30th, 2012 04:01 AM

HERES HOW FUCK BUDDY RELATIONSHIPS WORK WItH gIRLS:

things are good, you're not all attached and are just down for the sex
SHE GeTS ALL WEIRD AND ClINgY AND UR LIKE JUST THE SEX BUT SHE KEEPS DOing IT KINDA
then you start to give in SLIGHTLY
then they go CRAZY AND DO SOME DRAMATIC BREAKUP BULLSHIT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARENT DATING
next week you fuck again, and the day after she invites you over and her new boyfriend is over.

zeldasbiggestfan Jan 30th, 2012 04:07 AM

We need a like button here.

Zhukov Jan 30th, 2012 06:20 AM

Aren't you 12 years old, ZBF?

The Leader Jan 30th, 2012 08:22 AM

Like^

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 30th, 2012 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 754381)
HERES HOW FUCK BUDDY RELATIONSHIPS WORK WItH gIRLS:

things are good, you're not all attached and are just down for the sex
SHE GeTS ALL WEIRD AND ClINgY AND UR LIKE JUST THE SEX BUT SHE KEEPS DOing IT KINDA
then you start to give in SLIGHTLY
then they go CRAZY AND DO SOME DRAMATIC BREAKUP BULLSHIT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARENT DATING
next week you fuck again, and the day after she invites you over and her new boyfriend is over.

AMEN

10,000 Volt Ghost Jan 30th, 2012 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 754291)
I'll see your news and raise you THIS


Found out its for a car commercial only :(

There was a quote on wikipedia though about how broderick wanted to do a sequel and it sounded like a good premise but was also really depressing about the ending.

Esuohlim Jan 30th, 2012 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 754391)
Found out its for a car commercial only :(

Yeah, I found this out too :( I was hoping for some serious motion picture shenanigans.

Esuohlim Jan 30th, 2012 02:59 PM



Still good though

Tadao Jan 30th, 2012 04:56 PM

I'M CALLING SOPA ON YOU

Esuohlim Feb 1st, 2012 07:58 PM


kahljorn Feb 1st, 2012 09:23 PM

the end of the chatroom thread
 
in case you guys havent heard sopa got called on the chatthread
source: http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showp...ostcount=84614

is this just the begining of the end in 2012

Esuohlim Feb 1st, 2012 09:54 PM

The chatroom thread is blacked out until Tadao tells SOPA to go home because we don't want to play with bullies

Zhukov Feb 1st, 2012 10:36 PM

Have you tried unlocking it?

All Hail Duke Feb 1st, 2012 11:21 PM

que?

Zomboid Feb 2nd, 2012 01:19 AM

ZBF commenting on fuck buddies? Hilarious.

Zhukov Feb 2nd, 2012 05:55 AM

:lol

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 2nd, 2012 01:53 PM

I bet a bunch of paranoid dyslexics are getting filthy because of this sopa thing.

kahljorn Feb 2nd, 2012 04:06 PM

I bet a lot of mexicans are outraged

darkvare Feb 2nd, 2012 04:10 PM

why all the hate for mexican soup all of a sudden you guys?

Tadao Feb 2nd, 2012 04:25 PM

PAY THE FINE AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR PRECIOUS THREAD BACK

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 2nd, 2012 04:37 PM

I have "I'm in love with Mary Jane" by Coolio stuck in my head. Except instead of Mary Jane its Herman Cain. Herman caaaaaaiiinn.

Grislygus Feb 2nd, 2012 05:30 PM

FUCK

elx Feb 2nd, 2012 08:34 PM

so does anyone have a turtle

The Leader Feb 2nd, 2012 08:38 PM

Turtles are awesome. They're probably my fourth or fifth favorite animal that is green.

elx Feb 2nd, 2012 08:41 PM

hey you're awesome where have you been

elx Feb 2nd, 2012 08:44 PM

also not too long ago there was this study designed by a researcher named Dr. Kellert for the US Fish and Wildlife service and Yale university ranking american's affection/detailing knowledge of critters, and turtles ranked in at number 11, and cats were 12. dogs were first place for most loved!

this proves that turtles are, infact, cooler than cats

Esuohlim Feb 2nd, 2012 09:20 PM

ok this is dumb

Not sure who actually locked it but i'm opening it back up, fuck sopap

Esuohlim Feb 2nd, 2012 09:24 PM

I hate all animals except white ducks, they's the bomb


I knew a girl who was obsessed with her turtle but she would make "I LOST MY TURTLE" statuses on facebook twice a week. She clearly didn't deserve a turtle.

Tadao Feb 2nd, 2012 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 754506)
ok this is dumb

Not sure who actually locked it but i'm opening it back up, fuck sopap

HE WHO SMELT IT DELT IT.

Grislygus Feb 3rd, 2012 01:55 AM

I bet her roommates killed the turtle and used it as a piece for an organic bong, and she never noticed

"OMG WHERES MY TURTLE"
"the wha?"
"MY TURTLE"
"oooh, fuck, right the turtle. Matt stuck it over there somewhere"
"THERE'S MY TURTLE"

Esuohlim Feb 3rd, 2012 02:24 AM

Ohhh shit, what if "turtle" was just code for "bong" all along? :x

elx Feb 3rd, 2012 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 754507)
I knew a girl who was obsessed with her turtle but she would make "I LOST MY TURTLE" statuses on facebook twice a week. She clearly didn't deserve a turtle.

you already told me about her the last time we talked about tortoises. you should steal her turtle and then I will rescue it from you.

Zhukov Feb 3rd, 2012 08:24 AM

I rode a giant sea turtle once.

Babs Feb 3rd, 2012 04:25 PM

I DINE ON TURTLE SOUP

Guitar Woman Feb 3rd, 2012 10:51 PM

ducks rape each other esuohlim

King Hadas Feb 4th, 2012 02:19 AM

that's what makes them feel mighty

Esuohlim Feb 4th, 2012 03:11 AM

that's perfectly ok because it's a known fact that duck rape is appropriate social interaction in the duck community

kahljorn Feb 4th, 2012 04:15 AM

we need duck rape to seal our ventilation shafts

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 4th, 2012 09:03 AM

I hope thats going to be on the new aflac commercial.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 4th, 2012 05:39 PM

http://popvssoda.com/

ITS POP

Esuohlim Feb 4th, 2012 05:55 PM

I used to think "pop" was strictly a midwest thing, but then I learned that even Canada and the UK call it that. And according to the map practically the entirely northern US does too. So why do they call it "soda" in nearly every movie and TV show? >:

And anyone who calls it "coke" is full-blown retarded

kahljorn Feb 4th, 2012 07:18 PM

i call it soda / coke

>:

also maybe causemost tv shows are made in hollywood which is on the westcoast where they say soda
/ coke >:

Esuohlim Feb 4th, 2012 08:38 PM

fuck you and your coke. Call it something else >: and hollywood can suck 18 ducks >: i mean dicks :lol

kahljorn Feb 4th, 2012 08:46 PM

WHATS YOUR PROBlEM WIth COKE

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 4th, 2012 09:16 PM

The southerners call everything coke. Sprite is clear coke.

Esuohlim Feb 4th, 2012 09:41 PM

And southerners are dumb. It's a scientific fact so don't argue with science

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 5th, 2012 12:45 AM

I've come to realize making decisions is a lot like basketball. Women are terrible at both.

Fathom Zero Feb 5th, 2012 11:04 AM

I'm back to say I won't be homeless anymore starting next week. Yay.

kahljorn Feb 5th, 2012 03:23 PM

you were homeless?

Esuohlim Feb 5th, 2012 04:32 PM

Is the superbowl just the puppy bowl with humans in it

Otto Feb 5th, 2012 07:45 PM

I think I could zone out to the puppy bowl a lot easier if they didn't have the announcer yelling all the time, like just mic the puppies barking and sniffing and running around.

I just want to get through the spins by staring at dogs, man.

Phoenix Gamma Feb 5th, 2012 07:59 PM

I live in Boston but I'm watching the Puppy Bowl. The pats are probably gonna lose, but the Pups always win. Also, there needs to be a lot more piggy pep squad.

And my own puppy sprained her leg and can't sit down :< She can't lie down without making a loud thump.

Otto Feb 5th, 2012 09:03 PM

When I got my current Jack Russell Terrier from the local SPCA shelter, they had this rule that all animals adopted from there had to spayed/neutered. So they shipped him over to the vet where they neutered him and then I picked him up.

Poor pup was FUCKING still under anesthesia.

He would wobble around before he started barking and then roll over asleep. Or he would start running and then stop, space out, and fall asleep standing up. I really wanted to prop his head up on a stack of books and put like sunglasses and a hat on him and hang cigarettes out the side of his mouth, but I didn't think it would be right to treat him like a passed out friend at a party.

kahljorn Feb 5th, 2012 09:04 PM

man thats such a cute storY :(

all these stories about puppies and bowls is really making me want some chinese food

Zhukov Feb 5th, 2012 09:11 PM

I could go a curry myself. A dog curry, I guess.

Phoenix Gamma Feb 5th, 2012 09:39 PM

:(

All Hail Duke Feb 5th, 2012 11:49 PM

:lol

Tadao Feb 6th, 2012 12:50 AM

:wank

Aaarg Feb 6th, 2012 05:49 PM

cfuck the fpolice

elx Feb 6th, 2012 08:43 PM

as the one person that actually DID watch the puppy bowl, and is not just making jokes about it, I can say that it was really stupid. they weren't even like trained, they literally just ran around and drank water like stupid cats would.

Zomboid Feb 6th, 2012 09:12 PM

SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH! THOSE ARE PUPPIES YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

Esuohlim Feb 6th, 2012 10:13 PM

Facebook has turned into a fucking meme factory. I blame George Takei >:

So since memes are mainstream and popular now does that mean 4chan now hates them? Is that how they work? I sure hope this shit goes away soon.

elx Feb 7th, 2012 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zomboid (Post 754602)
SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH! THOSE ARE PUPPIES YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

LOOKED LIKE A BUNCH OF KITTIES TO ME

elx Feb 7th, 2012 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 754603)
Facebook has turned into a fucking meme factory. I blame George Takei >:

So since memes are mainstream and popular now does that mean 4chan now hates them? Is that how they work? I sure hope this shit goes away soon.

at least you're out of college and you don't have to see physical copies of them everywheeeeereeeeeee

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 7th, 2012 09:08 AM

That doesn't even matter. People put them up on the walls at my work. Which is a business. You'll never escape.

Tadao Feb 7th, 2012 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 754601)
as the one person that actually DID watch the puppy bowl, and is not just making jokes about it, I can say that it was really stupid. they weren't even like trained, they literally just ran around and drank water like stupid cats would.

I take it you didn't watch Puppy Bowl 1 - 7. I like it just fine the way it is. If I wanted to watch trained dogs running up and down a field with a goal in mind, I would have watched the Super Bowl.

:rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes: :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes :rolleyes 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elx Feb 7th, 2012 08:22 PM

MILHOUSE I HAVE THE BEST ENGINEERING JOB FOR YOU EVER

Esuohlim Feb 7th, 2012 10:13 PM

I wouldn't mind fungineering some sweet-ass playgrounds. Except I would have twisted ideas like giant playgrounds that look like plane crash wreckage and I would traumatize everyone. :(

Zhukov Feb 7th, 2012 11:01 PM

I laughed, Tadao.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 8th, 2012 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 754630)
I wouldn't mind fungineering some sweet-ass playgrounds. Except I would have twisted ideas like giant playgrounds that look like plane crash wreckage and I would traumatize everyone. :(

Need to design some MC ESCHER for these kids.

ThrashO Feb 8th, 2012 01:10 PM

anyone else used to climb poles until they climaxed as a kid? ;)

Tadao Feb 8th, 2012 06:28 PM

Meet my next door neighbor.


kahljorn Feb 8th, 2012 08:30 PM

Quote:

I can say that it was really stupid. they weren't even like trained, they literally just ran around and drank water like stupid cats would.
what kind of monster are you

Quote:

LOOKED LIKE A BUNCH OF EQUALLY CUTE THINGS.
Quote:

Originally Posted by milhousebackwards
So since memes are mainstream and popular now does that mean 4chan now hates them?

lol meme has become a meme :(

also at my school today i saw an official school endorsed ad that said, "Y u no make ed plan" with the face

kahljorn Feb 8th, 2012 08:31 PM

Quote:

Meet my next door neighbor.
that guy looks really nice

Esuohlim Feb 8th, 2012 08:56 PM

He looks like he could be 10,000 kV Ghost's older brother

kahljorn Feb 8th, 2012 10:05 PM

holy shit

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 8th, 2012 11:46 PM

SON OF A BITCH

ThrashO Feb 9th, 2012 01:09 AM

Why do young attractive girls get the middle of there upper lip pierced, their "monroe" pierced, their bottom lips pierced in 3 places and their nose pierced? All at once?

It just looks like this pretty girl has a bunch of zits and trash on her face from 20 feet away.

Tadao Feb 9th, 2012 01:50 AM

Because they are attracted to guys like me.

Zomboid Feb 9th, 2012 02:01 AM

I love dem gurls.

Zhukov Feb 9th, 2012 02:05 AM

It's getting rarer to run into people that don't have tattoos or piercings.

Tattoos aren't so bad (well, it's subjective), but I really don't like piercings. I was with a girl that had five chest dermals, and they were constantly getting caught on things and becoming swollen. She eventually got rid of them, but she passed on the idea to my next girlfriend.

Osmosis or something. They didn't meet.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 9th, 2012 11:05 AM

Osmosed through your dick

Tadao Feb 9th, 2012 12:43 PM


kahljorn Feb 9th, 2012 01:31 PM

maybe that kind of piercing would look cool if they weren't decorating their bodies with sequins and other things only 3 year olds and 72 year olds wear

Zomboid Feb 9th, 2012 03:18 PM

Yeah, really. That's kinda gross.

MarioRPG Feb 9th, 2012 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 754680)

Hang on, you've got a loose thread. I'll just give that a tug...

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 9th, 2012 09:11 PM

I want to shove my dick in her butt and watch those pop off her.

Sam Feb 9th, 2012 09:19 PM

JUST THINK HOW INFECTED THOSE PIERCINGS WOULD GET AFTER I TOOK A NICE DUMPER RIGHT BETWEEN HER SHOULDER BLADES.

Zhukov Feb 9th, 2012 10:02 PM

Charmed, I'm sure.


I can't help but think of them being violently ripped out.

ThrashO Feb 9th, 2012 11:35 PM

Sam before you dump let me run a metal pipe under them all and then turn it really fast like a sea captain in a hurricane.

[edit] ps. this was my first serious girlfriend from when I was 17. Shes like 25 now or something in this picture:


Esuohlim Feb 10th, 2012 04:21 AM

This standup special with the cast of Super Troopers is pretty terrible

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 10th, 2012 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 754697)
Sam before you dump let me run a metal pipe under them all and then turn it really fast like a sea captain in a hurricane.

[edit] ps. this was my first serious girlfriend from when I was 17. Shes like 25 now or something in this picture:


Does she have the number of the beast in binary code running down her back?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 754703)
This standup special with the cast of Super Troopers is pretty terrible

The Slammin Salmon is really funny though.

ThrashO Feb 10th, 2012 12:38 PM

No, it's a phrase that says something like "We all come from filth" or something. I just remember the word "filth" and something about everyone being imperfect.

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 10th, 2012 01:40 PM

I don't think Binary code ever starts with a 0 though. Its like saying its 07:30 PM to someone.

Guitar Woman Feb 10th, 2012 03:02 PM

Hey, I installed a browser extension today.

http://www.tannr.com/herp-derp-youtube-comments/

Chojin Feb 10th, 2012 03:04 PM

binary is just a length of toggles that can represent anything. a string of binary can start with a 0 too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThrashO (Post 754715)
No, it's a phrase that says something like "We all come from filth" or something. I just remember the word "filth" and something about everyone being imperfect.

it's not long enough to be more than one short word.

ascii->binary for "filth": 0110011001101001011011000111010001101000

10,000 Volt Ghost Feb 10th, 2012 04:11 PM

futurama lied to me then.


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