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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2009 07:30 PM

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...093mugs15.html

kahljorn Jul 3rd, 2009 07:41 PM

oops its ellsworth toohey :O

MORE LIKE ELLSWORTH TOOTHACHE HAHA

Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2009 07:43 PM

like anyone reads Ayn Rand, kahl.

kahljorn Jul 3rd, 2009 07:51 PM

Like that makes a difference.

Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2009 08:34 PM

hasn't yet, that's the Ayn Rand promise

kahljorn Jul 3rd, 2009 08:47 PM

kk

Fathom Zero Jul 3rd, 2009 09:11 PM

Real thugs get down on the floor.

Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2009 09:11 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/07/02/...ef=mpstoryview

There are a lot of women out there who claim they never knew they were pregnant. There are a lot of other people who say bullshit.

I don't know...in some ways, it can be mistaken for other things, I guess. But other things are so fucking weird they'd have you running to a doctor, so I don't know how women go to term or near-term without at least having a very strong suspicion.

A bunch of truly weird shit happens to your body during a pregnancy. Trust me on that one.

kahljorn Jul 3rd, 2009 09:37 PM

Maybe she was really fat and didn't like going to doctors. Many symptoms of pregnancy could possibly be confused with fatness, drug abuse, alcoholism and stupidity.

Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2009 09:47 PM

See, I used to think that way (fatness) before I had what felt like a watermelon-sized water balloon sloshing around every time I took a step. But the stupidity theory holds.

kahljorn Jul 3rd, 2009 10:03 PM

and alcoholism /drug abuse

some of that shit makes you feel blooaaated

Kitsa Jul 3rd, 2009 10:43 PM

I never had the luxury of doing illicits :(

kahljorn Jul 3rd, 2009 10:56 PM

there's still time :O

you too can feel pregnant with the vessels of a thousand sea horses in your stomach.

Tadao Jul 4th, 2009 03:43 AM

That sounds icky

kahljorn Jul 4th, 2009 06:39 AM

I DIDNT SAY DRUGS WERE PRETTY

AND IF I DID THEN IM SORRY, BUT IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOMEBODY ELSE

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 4th, 2009 12:49 PM

It's so dead.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 4th, 2009 12:51 PM

I found the blob from heavyweights: http://www.camppinnacle.com/

Kinda want to stop there now.

Kitsa Jul 4th, 2009 02:24 PM

From last night's episode of "bridezillas"....

Woman hauls fiance into one of those "Diamond and Gold Discount Center Superstore Warehouse Exchange" places to look at wedding bands. Immediately gravitates to most expensive and gaudy ring in the store, $30,000.

"What, am I not worth $30,000?" She wants to know why the fiance is hesitating.

"Hell, baby, I ain't worth $30,000."

She promptly spun around and ran out to the parking lot, screaming and pouting about how he didn't want her to be happy and declaring she wouldn't go back in until he bought her the ring.

I used to be 100% sure these shows were fake, but I've actually met people not too far off from this and am starting to wonder.

I thought the engagement ring was the fancy one and the wedding band was the plain one? What does someone want a giant diamond solitaire as a wedding band for?

Fathom Zero Jul 4th, 2009 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 636398)
I thought the engagement ring was the fancy one and the wedding band was the plain one? What does someone want a giant diamond solitaire as a wedding band for?

Yeah, the wedding ring is usually just a plain gold band, maybe with a little heart or something on it.

Kitsa Jul 4th, 2009 02:28 PM

Yeah, look, even Tiffany platinum wedding bands are less than $2000. I don't know what some sort of strip-mall place with a cheesy awning was doing with a $30,000 solitaire.

http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Cate...52&mcat=148204

Fathom Zero Jul 4th, 2009 02:41 PM

I actually like this: http://www.instructables.com/id/Five-Cent-Wedding-Band/

executioneer Jul 4th, 2009 03:48 PM

that's great as long as you don't have a GODDAMN NICKEL ALLERGY :mad

RaNkeri Jul 4th, 2009 06:44 PM

I just accidentally plucked out a chest hair


Now I only have one left :(

Kitsa Jul 4th, 2009 07:01 PM

You'd have to be super-careful cutting it to get it to fit right, too.

O'course, when I was married, I was dumb enough to be talked into buying my own engagement ring ($200) and letting it double as my wedding band. Which was just as well because it's not doing a hell of a lot for me right now.

Tadao Jul 4th, 2009 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaNkeri (Post 636430)
I just accidentally plucked out a chest hair


Now I only have one left :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 636432)
You'd have to be super-careful cutting it to get it to fit right, too.

I was all WHAT?

Kitsa Jul 4th, 2009 08:46 PM

:rolleyes

Colonel Flagg Jul 4th, 2009 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 636433)
I was all WHAT?

:tombstone

MLE Jul 5th, 2009 01:11 AM

Fuck, no one uses the page brak anymore. Shit sux.

Tadao Jul 5th, 2009 03:39 AM

HEY, WHAT'S YOUR BEEF MISSY?

elx Jul 5th, 2009 01:27 PM

  1. People find many ways to express their inner world. Some write novels; others paint, perform, or debate; still others design elegant solutions to complex mathematical problems. How do you express your inner world, and how does the world around you respond?

Kitsa Jul 5th, 2009 04:42 PM

The answer is MSpaint, right?

Tadao Jul 5th, 2009 05:46 PM

http://www.coloribus.com/admirror/sex_in_the_city/

:lol

Kitsa Jul 5th, 2009 05:50 PM

impressive. I thought Singapore was pretty hardass about that kind of thing.

Tadao Jul 5th, 2009 06:00 PM

They are, but maybe someones hand was lined with cash.

Colonel Flagg Jul 5th, 2009 07:05 PM

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=541349

No comment.

Kitsa Jul 5th, 2009 07:34 PM

The Ichibankan online Japanese dollar store is closing on Tuesday, get your cheap Japanese crap while you can :(

Here's a photo from that concert I went to, where the guitarist looked like the TV Randall Flagg to me:



The problem was, I was taking pictures of him because he looked like Randall Flagg, but he thought I was taking pictures of him because I found him hot. So the entire thing turned very uncomfortable as he made various provocative dance moves in my direction and kept staring at me from the stage :(

EDITED TO ADD: Look at my fellow concert-goers. You can tell this is a Rockin' Good Time!

MetalMilitia Jul 5th, 2009 07:42 PM

My girlfriend put some shoes on e-bay. A few hours later she got an e-mail from someone requesting a picture of her wearing them with fishnet stockings to "see what they look like". Is there any possibility that this isn't a sex-pervert and more importantly should I put them on and take a pic for him?

Kitsa Jul 5th, 2009 07:46 PM

I think your plan is a good one. Do you have really hairy legs?

Tadao Jul 5th, 2009 08:56 PM

http://www.weddingdressguy.com/origi...aylisting.html

MetalMilitia Jul 5th, 2009 08:57 PM

Hopefully hairy enough to gross-out an internet pervert.

Colonel Flagg Jul 5th, 2009 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 636523)
Here's a photo from that concert I went to, where the guitarist looked like the TV Randall Flagg to me:



Yeah, I see it too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 636523)
EDITED TO ADD: Look at my fellow concert-goers. You can tell this is a Rockin' Good Time!

"Edna, that darn gee-tar player is sangin too durned loud! Plus I keent unnerstan a durned thang hes sangin! Didja remember mah Geritol?"

Tadao Jul 5th, 2009 09:58 PM

I have a hard time watching Blade Runner and not be lulled to sleep by the combination of slow action, silent atmosphere, dark settings and Vangelis's musical score.

Otto Jul 5th, 2009 10:39 PM

So I ordered this book:
http://distefano.com/htbac.htm

Kitsa Jul 6th, 2009 12:45 AM

Colonel Flagg: playing for crowds like that must be sheer hell for a band. The crowd was about 60% geriatrics, 39% suburban yuppies with wagonloads of small children, and us.

Also, I think the guy playing keyboard looks like that rival pornstar in Orgazmo.

Tadao: I have the same problem with every incarnation of Jurassic Park. I've never been able to stay awake through it.

Dixie Jul 6th, 2009 09:06 AM

fuck.

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 12:38 PM

shit.

Misdemonar Jul 6th, 2009 12:44 PM

CUNTS

elx Jul 6th, 2009 12:47 PM

potty mouths:(

Dimnos Jul 6th, 2009 01:20 PM

Twats

elx Jul 6th, 2009 01:43 PM

dimnos is a lobster head

elx Jul 6th, 2009 01:44 PM

:meat

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 6th, 2009 01:45 PM

JOIKS

Dimnos Jul 6th, 2009 02:16 PM



This is as close to lobsters as I get darlin. ;)

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 02:35 PM


10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 6th, 2009 02:41 PM

Pimp status with the lobster claws.

Colonel Flagg Jul 6th, 2009 02:55 PM

Those were the days ..... :)

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dungeonbrownies (Post 636562)
i dont wanna be a dick about this... but enthused isnt a word. though if its in the pickledictionary, ill gladly add it to mine.

What?

elx Jul 6th, 2009 04:53 PM

i'm so glad everyone here is smart, i love you guys

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 04:57 PM

STAY AWAY FROM ME JAIL BAIT!

elx Jul 6th, 2009 05:00 PM

group huuuuuuuuuug

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 05:01 PM

I love it when people who are all snotty about grammar and spelling forget to use apostrophes.

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elx (Post 636607)
group huuuuuuuuuug

I have to inform you that I am not legally allowed to hug you. :tear

Colonel Flagg Jul 6th, 2009 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 636609)
I have to inform you that I am not legally allowed to hug you. :tear


Just thinking about it could get you 6 months probation.

Pervert. :rock

Kitsa Jul 6th, 2009 09:21 PM

I went to the dentist today. He sandblasted my tooth instead of drilling it. That was pretty damn weird. I was spitting out sand afterward, it sticks to your tongue.

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 09:38 PM

Really, I would think it would damage the inside of your mouth too. But I'm no Dr.

Kitsa Jul 6th, 2009 09:45 PM

He told me to close my eyes, but there's not much else you can do. It wasn't so bad, I just had to rinse a lot. And my teeth feel all gritty. I'm trying to avoid doing anything with these front teeth because I don't want to break them again before the show, that would suck.

Colonel Flagg Jul 6th, 2009 09:53 PM

I've had mucho dental work, but that's a new one on me. Is your dentist planning on putting in a crown or what?

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 09:55 PM

He's gonna primer them and put a a custom flame job on them.

Kitsa Jul 6th, 2009 09:59 PM

No, he was probably just trying something new because my front teeth break all the damn time.

I've got the long and complicated medical history behind me that made them weak to begin with, and every time they get filled that's more filling, less tooth, less stability. Either the fillings or my teeth break every few months, sometimes more often. The only time you will ever hear me yell motherfucker is when a tooth breaks.

He was probably trying to minimize drilling/vibration or knocking more out than he needed to, trying to keep the current patch job in there longer.

Otto Jul 6th, 2009 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 636677)
He told me to close my eyes, but there's not much else you can do. It wasn't so bad, I just had to rinse a lot. And my teeth feel all gritty. I'm trying to avoid doing anything with these front teeth because I don't want to break them again before the show, that would suck.

My dentist used to do something like this, but I think it was some sort of gritty baking soda solution.

elx Jul 6th, 2009 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 636677)
He told me to close my eyes, but there's not much else you can do. It wasn't so bad, I just had to rinse a lot.

i know what you mean :(

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 11:07 PM


Kitsa Jul 6th, 2009 11:21 PM

I knew it was just a matter of time.

Colonel Flagg Jul 6th, 2009 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 636703)

Why?

Tadao Jul 6th, 2009 11:58 PM

Because I didn't read something dirty into that first.

BillyBear Jul 7th, 2009 12:36 AM

um...you hear things...kay, that's not really my problem, right? No, but really...

Tadao Jul 7th, 2009 12:47 AM

That depends on how close he lives to you.

BillyBear Jul 7th, 2009 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 636720)
That depends on how close he lives to you.

Doesn't matter, you come to my house with that shit and i'll kick your ass with a crowbar and then throw your ass in my big ass pool...release the hounds

LordSappington Jul 7th, 2009 02:12 AM

Shit; I went parkouring with some friends Sunday, and cracked my heel landing wrong. Now I'm walking around on my toes on my right foot. I probably look like I have downs or something.

BillyBear Jul 7th, 2009 05:19 AM

just fucking shoot me, now...

Dixie Jul 7th, 2009 05:25 AM

no.
nobody shoot him.
he's being saved for alligators.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 7th, 2009 10:01 AM

I'm 9000 days old today :)

Dimnos Jul 7th, 2009 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 636796)
I'm 9000 days old today :)

:golfclap

Colonel Flagg Jul 7th, 2009 12:35 PM

Happy 9Kday, 10K. :party

Colonel Flagg Jul 7th, 2009 12:38 PM

I was twice your age, 3 weeks ago.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 7th, 2009 02:17 PM

Thank you.

Thank you.

I went out to karaoke to celebrate and for some reason we sang "I want it that way" except I only know how to sing like Lemmy so it sounded really bad/great.

Sam Jul 7th, 2009 03:50 PM

10k VOLTS GHOST FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY IN HONOR OF YOUR 9000 DAYS OF BEING ALIVE ON THIS EARTH, I WILL MAKE LOVE TO THAT SISTER OF YOURS. ;)

Tadao Jul 7th, 2009 04:08 PM

And then I'll finish the job.

Sam Jul 7th, 2009 04:15 PM

THERE WILL BE VERY TOUCHING MOMENTS WHERE I ASK HER IF SHE CAN HEAR MY HEART BEAT AND THEN I TELL HER "EAT MY MEAT YOU VEGAN WHORE" AND SLAP MY DICK IN A HOT DOG BUN AND PUT MUSTARD ALL OVER IT.

I DON'T EVEN CARE IF SHE ISN'T VEGAN, I'M STILL SAYING IT.

10,000 Volt Ghost Jul 7th, 2009 05:11 PM

YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME? YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. YOU BOTH CAN ROAST HER LIKE A ROTISSERIE FOR MY 9K DAY.

We're going to dinner and then to the drive in ~ Public enemies and hangover.

Tadao Jul 7th, 2009 05:25 PM

only 1,000 more days till your death by electrocution! :(

Tadao Jul 7th, 2009 06:42 PM

PM Title : um
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao
RAPE!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyBear
i don't know, i just wanted to send you a message...what? I know i'm weird and i'm also a jackass sometimes, but i'm just really bored so don't be all like "This cat is weird; sending me random messages, and all." :\


Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyBear
hmmm....ok, i see how it is

and then

PM Title : ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillyBear
didn't you already send me that?

This guy is too retarded.

Tadao Jul 7th, 2009 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 636854)
I do already but I have no control over William. I was honestly thinking about going by Wilhelm or Liam instead a while back.

Wilyam

Aaarg Jul 7th, 2009 07:35 PM

FUCKFART

Tadao Jul 7th, 2009 08:21 PM

MJ's arcade

http://www.pinsane.com/pinorama/even...ade_entry.html

Tadao Jul 7th, 2009 08:23 PM

Oh shit he has Terminator Pinball! I loved that table.

executioneer Jul 7th, 2009 08:26 PM

dude a r360, fucking awesome

Tadao Jul 7th, 2009 08:34 PM

Yeah, what is the r360? I've never seen one.

Tadao Jul 7th, 2009 08:37 PM

OH SHIT!


elx Jul 7th, 2009 09:21 PM

I hate you billybooeybuns I hope you drown in spaghettios. :(


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