SHOULD HAVE DRESSED LIKE A WOMAN AND TITILLATED THE REPESSED FATTIE DMV WORKER

ALSO WHY DO YOU NOT ALREADY HAVE A LICENSE

both you and my girlfriend kahl :(

Holy shit, you're back :eek

I've been posting for at least a week man where you been at.

i never needed a license and my parents didn't let me getone when i was younger.

Dammit emu, now I have to catch up on a week's worth of posts

Uncle gus, Pram Maven is banned. Also, my lover left me and I cried in a thread.

lol

The lady who passed me at the driving school only did so because she had a thing for me. I was 17 so it wasn't that bad. She said that she really shouldn't be doing this, but I was such a great guy and I had to promise to her that I'd work hard at practicing driving and not go out til I was ready. The next week I took a job as a delivery driver.

"Don't drive yet, Don't tell anyone, Stop burying my dead body."

Fucking stupid bitches man :rolleyes

I haven't been in a wreck in the 12 years I've been driving since then, so I can't be that bad.

DID U REALIZE SOMEONE TORE UR PICKLES OUT

man, the pickles were retarded to begin with, I seriously thought it was a joke when it was implemented

Wait, did he actually manage to piss somebody off, or was he just released into the wild for his own good

I think the official reason was "Rape, Molestation and being from Portland, Oregon."

A few years ago I didn't think anybody here liked me ;~;

EMU YOU ARE A FAVORITE. WHATCHOO TALKIN BOUT WILLIS.

maaaaaan I'm wierdly disappointed now that I know the anticlimactic reason for the new Chat Title

And what do I do with all these spare boners!

So the Simpsons might be ending. That's the best news I've heard all day.

WERE YOU EXPECTING A PICTURe OF MY ASS, GRISLYGUS

WERE YOU ANTICIPATING IT AS YOU READ THROUGH THE ENTIRE CHAT THREAD, DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR A PHOTO

I WAS EXPECTING SHATTERED ARCHAEOLOGICAL EVIDENCE OF DEPRAVED FILTH, SWEPT OVER BY THE SANDS OF TIME AND MOD ACTIVITY

I WAS DISAPPOINTED

Emu, it was supposed to end after this season because of the talks not working but they came to an agreement that extends it 2 more seasons to 25 years. Fucking simpsons. And the actors didn't even get anything they wanted out of it. They caved and fox laughed with their big fat wallets. Of course the voice actors have big fat wallets too. Just not as fat as fox's.

It's weird that you mention the drivers ed passing thing because the lady down the street was just over today telling me she'd gotten in an accident and her car got totaled. By a 16 year old kid who was on his way back from getting his license.

I had to take an AAA-sponsored driver's ed class to get a learner's permit, before they decided I couldn't drive because of the neuro stuff. It was the dumbest shit ever....seventies scare movies, and we had to read a chapter and take a test, and that was all they expected of us. I took the class with an older friend who had lived in big cities all her life and never had to drive. Basically we goofed off the whole time. Then on the last day this hillbilly zipped around a corner too fast in his IROC-Z and t-boned the instructor. We laughed until we just about peed ourselves.

thread does not deliver

I forgot about the class stuff. I took that in school from one of the coaches. We watched Jerry Springer most of the time in class and only talked about cars a few times. One time he took us to show us the engine and how to check the oil levels in his truck and there were beer cans strewn about the bed of his truck. He was the same coach who in gym class told me he was going to turn my small arms into big muscley things and gave up after I couldn't lift the bar.

Signal 30 was a great motion picture. Oscar-worthy.

there was some dumb side street that i was supposed to keep clear i guess even though nobody was there and the light was green for me, and I didn't so i failed. even though i only had 6 errors.

lame

I failed my first driving test because I rolled through a stop sign. >:

also I did some landscaping today for a woman who is having a wedding tomorrow. basically she has an acre of land with all kinds of flower beds and I see about 25 bails of pine straw and she's like "spread these throughout all the beds" and I'm like "ok" so she leaves and I'm like "fuck that shit ima chill" so I just lay down in the grass and sleep for about 8 hours and she comes back and is like "why havent you done anything the wedding is TOMORROW" and im like "bich fuk u" and farted.

http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69707698

thread bups

Elx- One of my favorite albums is "Haunted" by Poe. I have been told that it's ideal for your intentions. Just don't let it go past 40 minutes or so unless you belong to certain subcultures.

My driver's ed experience was significant to me because it was one of the first times when I got to be exposed to kids my own age, outside of my high school classmates. Most of my classmates took driver's ed during summer school, I took a course in a nearby town. I remember that I felt really old for some reason in that group. Granted, I was a sophomore and the other kids were mostly freshmen, but it seemed like they belonged to a totally different world. I thought about how weird it would be to date one of them. Nowadays, when I run into my high school classmates, the idea of dating with any of my nascent dreamgirls just seems incestuous.

Also, Hi Kahl and Emu. Among others, I guess.

hello

Are we all posting here because it is the time of The Gathering? Or are we just all indignant about our stupid friends with their stupid obsession with their stupid reddit?

since it seems like a flood of vets are congregating in this thread it must be time for another MOCK WARZ

In only the last month and a half we've gotten I think four people back who haven't posted in ages (Rongi, Emu, Ninjavenom, Seth). It's like you are all turtles looking for a fuck and I-Mock is your Galapagos Island.

That probably doesn't make any sense if that one Rocko's Modern Life episode was based on false information >:

is there a STIHL KOMBI in YOUR tool shed?????

Nobody here is wearing disco clothes, that I've seen, so I'm guessing this ain't the Galapagos.

i'm here for both the turtle fucking and reddit hate


also for the i-bapery theme

i heard hawt chicks posted here and they posted her naked about how they're naked and hot and boobs

i-bapery unites our people under a common flag

So when I lived in Seattle I used to steal alot of shit from the store. Like a ton. I wasn't making alot of money, was a full time student and was not on good terms with my parents.

So I was talking to this guy I work with about it (talking about drugs and other past experiences) and he got really offended saying shit like "It's people like you who cause businesses to run into the ground, I helped open a radio shack in the ghetto part of Durham and we could never make a profit because scumbags were CONSTANTLY stealing."

Who the fuck opens a Radioshack in the ghetto and expects to make a profit?

What an ignorant fuck.

so i basically went from not smoking weed for a year and a half to smoking weed pretty much every day multiple times a day

the marijuana got me in it spell

Hey guys I'm still alive and still on my super awesome 'travel around Afghanistan' vacation!

Hope all is well

-Doucher

Great news. You should keep a "travelblog" to rate all the "hidden treasure" B&B's around Khandahar. I can see it now: Kabul on $15 a day.

kabul and kabullets

Even though Kabulletz sounds Jewish.

i helped somebodymove and scored a bottle of johnny walker gold

I heard someone say Johnny Walker and Gold in the same sentence. Now I have a raging hardon

LA VIDA

lol

their room mate leftit so i was all, "GUESS hE LEFT THIS FOR ME."

what a dumbass

Here's me thinking you were rewarded for your hard work :lol

Ohio Amish splinter group attack enemy Amish to hack off beards.

They're calling it "Amish on Amish violence".

a man named Mullet is inspiring people to do crimes related to hair

what a world we live in

Do they ride bikes? The Amish I mean.

Bikes and razor scooters.

Actually, I should also mention that most of the time when they travel around here it's either on tractors (they're allowed to drive tractors, some of them, so they use those in lieu of cars...we have a man who sells corn on a corner lot and hauls his whole family there and back on a tractor, going 5-10 mph on a busy street) or what we call "Yoder toters". Yoder Toters are those big vans that have a lot of seats, like what some churches use to haul people around. They're Amish taxis- the Amish pay people to drive them somewhere.

That's cheating, like the Jews using their special Shabbat elevators.

I live in the middle of Amish country, and there are Yoder Toters everywhere. The worst places are Walmart, Jo-Ann Fabrics and Meijer, which for out-of-area people is a walmartish store. Our Meijer has a hitching post out front as well, although I've only seen it used once.

A couple of weeks ago, we were stuck behind an Amish man on a tractor pulling his whole family in the trailer behind him, Beverly Hillbillies style. There was even an old woman in a rocking chair in the trailer. The scariest thing was that there were 3 small boys on a bench. There was no backrest on the bench and the seat was higher than the back of the trailer, and there was nothing holding them in. Every time the tractor would lurch forward, the kids would all rock backward and look like they were going to fall out, because the bench wasn't affixed and would tip. I kept expecting to see these kids' heads crack open like melons on the street in front of us.

And it's Sukkot, so expect to resent Jews eating outside, too.

:lol thats exactly what i said

This one's for all my fellow synchtube CHUMS. I was listening to a podcast with Jon Hamm as the guest and he brought up the fight on Youtube between Rip Torn and Norman Mailer :lol



Except he thought it was real because he was like "it was crazy, people thought to bring CAMERAS and there were children present and it was pretty surreal"

i think it was originally supposed to be a scene but one of them took things too far and they just kept the cameras rolling

That's what most people say. Rip Torn would make a good Jack Torrance.

fuck that guys name

its way too redundant

THE RIPPIN' AND THE TORIN'

Happy National Coming Out Day, all you sexy men ;)

;););)

lol

I have an interview tomorrow at a department store in the mall. Wish me luck >:

Good luck >:

I HOPE YOU GET ONE OF THOSE $5 MALL GIFT CARDS.

I'm going to bring a door frame to dance through at the Toasters tonight now.

Got a 97 on my first German exam, y'all :hat

Das ist kein Deutsch forum. >:

Fich dich, Fathom Zero >:

:eek

ET TOI, CONNARD

:deslangues

i like to think that said SUCK DICK, FATHOM

also I passed my drivers test today

My German Professor teaches us German curses on Thursdays. It's rather amusing hearing such a pixieish young lady say things like "Du hast keine Eier!" (you have no balls) or "Leck mich am Arsch!" (eat shit)

Did I mention i have a huge crush on my german teacher

tell her you want to shit in her mouth

germans love that

I must say, I've been picking up German at a pretty quick pace. English is starting to get spoken less and less in class, but I'm not getting lost at all. I'm considering declaring German as a minor

German's a quick stepping-stone leap from English.

Except for the German the Amish speak, I can barely make heads or tails of that. I think it's its own creature.

kahl have you ever pooped on a girl

i don't know why but something tells me you have

I AM A MYSTERIOUS CREATURE

Yeah, part of the reason I'm picking it up so easy is because of how similar a lot of the words sound to English. Learning the genders of words isn't that hard either,i find that often ugly sounding words tend to be male (herd, kühlshrank) and dainty words are female (brille, lampe). Also, i find it kind of amusing that pretty much all kitchenware is female

i have never had any desire to poop on a female.

REAL TALK: the first girl i ever had sex with wanted to incorporate blood and bleeding into our sex life. i was always like "no way, man"

There are a few "false friends", though...my brother still cherishes the photo my parents took of him as an adolescent in Heidelberg, pointing proudly to a "FAHRTGASSE" sign.

what I get for reading while sleepy

darkvare: soy de mexico

:lol he's a soy beaner

HOORAY NEW AVATAR

ITS goNNA gIVe PEOPLE SEIZUReS

awesome seizures?

out of context he kind of looks like Bald Bull

WHERE ARE HIS NIPPLES

some store in a different town had three brands of hard cider i've never had so i had to buy them all

it will be an apple-centric evening

were any of them Spire

your avatar makes me have to poop >:

brb

UPDATE:

The smell of Polish Sausage and Afghan poop is NOT a palatable combination.

nope, not spire. original sin "premium" (10 bucks for a six pack it'd better be good! it won't be!), samuel smith's (organic!), and blackthorn (which just makes me think of the game. this one is an english import so i bet it's dry dry dry dry)

I wonder how long spiders take to starve. Because apparently they can live floating in water for 5 days. I found a spider that was a little less than the size of a dime sitting at the bottom of a plastic cup I had in my bathroom. I poured a little water in and he came to life, but never really pulled himself out. So he just floats there and paddles around if I make the water move. And it's been like this for 5 days.

Book lungs are so cool. And green.

i just ask because spire's made by a microbrewery in downtown olympia (and is pretty tasty)

STOP DISTRACTING FROM AND IGNORING HICKMAN >: GRR