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-   -   I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips) (http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8799)

Fathom Zero May 24th, 2011 05:34 PM

Yes. That's normally what you do. :\

Unless you're a pussy.

Pub Lover May 24th, 2011 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pub Lover (Post 722905)

..

10,000 Volt Ghost May 24th, 2011 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 722919)
So do you guys think i sh ould take my ex to small claims court?

She has mty heater (a 200 dollar one i just got for christmas) and my bbq and my dishes and pots and pans and pretty much all my furniture ;/
actually everything in the house is pretty much mine except one couch, one bed and this cabinet thing ;/

they aren't letting me get it ;/ kind of pisses me off

and you're xbox because it says you've been offline.

Kitsa May 24th, 2011 05:55 PM

Court made my ex pay me back for taking my car.

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 05:58 PM

:lol i have my xbox here i just have to figure out a way to hook it up here :O

yea i want to take her to court but then she'll be all, "YOURE HARASSING ME" and shit. I think I'm gonna do it anyway. Its only 30 dollars to go to court if its for under 1500 dollars worth of stuff and she probably has like a few hundred dollars worth of my stuff. Not counting all fo the miscelaneous furniture around the house thats mine ;/ kind of annoying that she thinks she should just be able to kick me out and keep everything.
She even still has both of the wedding rings.. which my grandma gave us.

Quote:

Yes. That's normally what you do. :\

Unless you're a pussy.
Yea but i was trying this whole, BE A BETTER PERSON thing which I guess just equates to pussy ;/

Kitsa May 24th, 2011 06:05 PM

I'd go to court simply to make a point. Otherwise, the person assumes you'll just go on being a doormat and/or an ATM.

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 06:05 PM

WHAT GAMES YOU BEEN PLAYIN 10K?

Pentegarn May 24th, 2011 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 722919)
So do you guys think i sh ould take my ex to small claims court?

She has mty heater (a 200 dollar one i just got for christmas) and my bbq and my dishes and pots and pans and pretty much all my furniture ;/
actually everything in the house is pretty much mine except one couch, one bed and this cabinet thing ;/

they aren't letting me get it ;/ kind of pisses me off

You need this shit on The People's Court :wapner

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 06:09 PM

Quote:

I'd go to court simply to make a point. Otherwise, the person assumes you'll just go on being a doormat and/or an ATM.
Yea that's partly how i feel about it too.

she even got to keep the car because of my kindness, although she has some kind of contract with my grandma (cause she manipulated my grandma into buying us a car even though we had one already ;/). Really i dont think she should have it now cause she never gets maintenance done and she's a liar and she's never paid for tags before. also one time she rolled a car (a lexus) trying to kill herself
also she likes to lecture people about trying to kill themselves :lol

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 06:15 PM

Quote:

You need this shit on The People's Court :wapner
Oh god :( it would be horrible. HERES WHAT WOULD HAPPEN JUST LIKE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ANY OTHER TIME I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF AGAINST HER:

She'd say some really mean, irrelevant stupid shit that you're like, "What does that have to do with me getting my stuff back."
I'd call her an idiot.
She'd start punching me in court and go to jail for assault :lol

MLE May 24th, 2011 06:38 PM

That would make a great episode. Why aren't you doing this?

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 07:18 PM

:lol
i probably will in the next couple of weeks

Kitsa May 24th, 2011 07:29 PM

I'd go on Judge Joe Brown. Judge Judy would yell at you and Judge Mathis would digress into some 20-minute monologue based on something halfway humorous your ex said.

Pentegarn May 24th, 2011 07:32 PM

Then Mathis is the winning pick, though Joe Brown would get all "what the hell is the matter with you" on the ex

Chojin May 24th, 2011 08:24 PM

i've been taken to small claims court before for a $2300 debt. i'd already laid out a plan to pay the guy back, but he insisted. i was really mad at the time. the first thing they ask is if you'd like to go to arbitration, and if so you just go into a small room and agree on terms. it was really painless and quick.

as was said, i'd do it just to make a point.

Chojin May 24th, 2011 08:27 PM

today i preordered duke nukem forever

this is the second time i've done that in my life

Fathom Zero May 24th, 2011 08:29 PM

let's hope it won't be the last! :lol

10,000 Volt Ghost May 24th, 2011 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 722927)
WHAT GAMES YOU BEEN PLAYIN 10K?

Red dead redemption and re5.

Its too bad eye for eye got cancelled. That's really the judge show you should take her on.

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 09:52 PM

:lol eye for eye eh? SOUNDS NICE MAYBE I COULD PUNCH HER A BUNCH OF TIMES AND RIP THE HAIR OUT OF HER HEAD

yea ill try to set my xbox up. They got wireless internet here and my xbox isnt wireless so i gotta do some tricky shit to get it to work :O

MLE May 24th, 2011 09:52 PM

Make sure you get as close to the models of each piece of whatever you have there and research up how much it would take to replace it all. Take as much documentation as possible. Look on facebook for photos to circle the furniture if you have to.

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 09:56 PM

part of the problem is some of this stuff has been in the family forever so i dunno how much it would be worth. But its kind of funny cause if she tries to say its hers i have pictures of me as a baby standing next to it :lol

plus for some of the other stuff i dont even know how to prove its mine unless my family has recipts for it still ;/ like my bbq and a tv i left there ;/ i guess all i can do is have my family testify or something

although i do have an email of her saying i can take everything except the bed and the couch

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 09:57 PM

ANYWAY IMMA STOP STINKING UP THE CHAT THREAD WITH MY STUPID DRAMA NO MATTER HOW ENTERTAINING IT POTENTIALLY IS

10,000 Volt Ghost May 24th, 2011 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 722957)
:lol eye for eye eh? SOUNDS NICE MAYBE I COULD PUNCH HER A BUNCH OF TIMES AND RIP THE HAIR OUT OF HER HEAD

yea ill try to set my xbox up. They got wireless internet here and my xbox isnt wireless so i gotta do some tricky shit to get it to work :O

That's pretty much how eye for an eye worked. The judge's gavel was a fucking baseball bat with the word justice carved into the side of it. He kinda looked and sounded like don adams and the rulings he gave were ridiculous. This couple were fighting about this projection tv so he had the bailiff king solomon it with a chainsaw :lol

MLE May 24th, 2011 10:15 PM

Make sure you print the email with all headers, bring all the baby pictures, and bring someone who can testify as to who owns what.

Kitsa May 24th, 2011 10:35 PM

Most likely, they'd make her give you the estimated cash value for the items.

If you were legally married and she ran up any credit card debt in your name, you're fucked. I speak from experience there.

kahljorn May 24th, 2011 11:06 PM

we were never legally married and she cant qualify for credit cards anyway :lol

if she claims we were legally married ill be all, WHERES MY ALIMONY

Dimnos May 24th, 2011 11:13 PM

You get picked up by a tornader yet FZ?

Fathom Zero May 25th, 2011 12:08 AM

Never do. Tornadoes sound more amazing than they actually are. They are beautiful, though.

Tadao May 25th, 2011 01:28 AM



:lol He can knock an unexpected shoe out of the air, but he backs away from a baseball at a baseball game? That's not very Texan. Maybe he knew about the shoe.

Esuohlim May 25th, 2011 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 722961)
That's pretty much how eye for an eye worked. The judge's gavel was a fucking baseball bat with the word justice carved into the side of it. He kinda looked and sounded like don adams and the rulings he gave were ridiculous. This couple were fighting about this projection tv so he had the bailiff king solomon it with a chainsaw :lol

serious lol about this right here. I caught this show once at like 4:30 in the morning at it was like Jerry Springer meets Judge Alex. "YOU SAY YOUR BROTHER OWES YOU RENT, YOU SAY THAT YOU PAYED HIM SEVEN-MONTHS WORTH IN ADVANCE AND THE MONEY IS SUDDENLY MISSING? WELL, FUCKERS, WE'RE GOING TO AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT AND YOU'RE GOING TO THROW FOOD AT EACH OTHER. CASE DISMISSED." :justice

EXTREME AKIM EXTREME AKIM EXTREME AKIM

LordSappington May 25th, 2011 03:54 AM

Today at work, a customer came over with his six year old son. I don't remember what brought it up, but I told him that I knew Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time. When he didn't believe me, I showed him my hair. I think I blew his freakin' mind.

kahljorn May 25th, 2011 04:04 AM

GREAT NOW THAT KID WILL BE RETARDED FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE

LordSappington May 25th, 2011 04:11 AM

I think there was some brain matter oozing out his nose.
Shit, can I be prosecuted for infanticide in this case? Or am I off the hook if he just turns out retarded? :chatter

kahljorn May 25th, 2011 05:14 AM

YOU SHOULD SUE HIS PARENTS FOR EXPOSING THEIR CHILD TO DEADLY LEVELS OF HAIR

Kitsa May 25th, 2011 09:07 AM

A kid was staring at me once in a hospital cafeteria and when I looked down at my plate I realized I had like 3 different orange items, purely by coincidence...something like orange juice, shredded carrots and orange jello, probably, it was years ago so I can't remember exactly what.

I said, "How do you think I got hair this color?"

Then I saw that he had orange jello and ran to dump it out.

Always felt a little guilty about that.

Pub Lover May 25th, 2011 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmUsEdByYou (Post 723015)
My faveorite color is Blue in any shade.

You misspelled coleor. :eek

Pub Lover May 25th, 2011 01:19 PM

Dylan's Nipples. :(

Pub Lover May 25th, 2011 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmUsEdByYou (Post 723017)
OHH well how fitting that my welcome wagon be the as* of the community!

Ass. :eek
Quote:

Originally Posted by AmUsEdByYou (Post 723025)
Well I am pretty sure you seem like you are gonna be an as* so yeah I do kinda think I am right.

ASS! >:

Pub Lover May 25th, 2011 01:54 PM

FUCK SHIT BOLLOCKS CUNT! >:

Pub Lover May 25th, 2011 01:55 PM

****** :lol

Pub Lover May 25th, 2011 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmUsEdByYou (Post 723026)
OOOOHHH I am going to post stupid shit about you on here to be an ass because it makes me feel like a real big man!

Yes, Ass. Thank you. :)
Quote:

Originally Posted by AmUsEdByYou (Post 723026)
WOW! Ok..... This is a board full of men who like to make themselves feel big and macho by picking on one person together as a group? Ok, as you know when in a "FIGHT" it is considered to be even more manly to fight ALONE and also what the hell kinda of sissy shit is this any way? OOOOHHH I am going to post stupid shit about you on here to be an ass because it makes me feel like a real big man!


Remind me not to piss you guys off!

What an interesting second thread to pick. :eek
Code:

I think we have another Zugganaut here, Guys

Tadao May 25th, 2011 02:02 PM

Clearly she is not AmUsEdByUs

Pub Lover May 25th, 2011 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadao (Post 723033)
Please tell us more about how much you disapprove.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zuggernaut (Post 722744)
also you guys are disgusting. who wants to see a grown man in a dress, you must be some kind of homosexuals. over on zug we ask people to put on dresses as a JOKE but you guys are clearly pumping your cocks in anticipation

:wank

Tadao May 25th, 2011 02:26 PM

There is nothing wrong with 8 guys jerking off in the same room. :(

Pub Lover May 25th, 2011 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmUsEdByYou (Post 723042)
You can't hurt my feelings, if you want how about you get the whole gang on me now! wouldn't that be so predictable of you!

She is right, T. You are losing like heck in there. You better call in some Bape back up. :eek

Code:

What a n00b! Can you even believe this guy? I just do not believe what I saw, what kind of skills even are those taunts you just pulled?

10,000 Volt Ghost May 25th, 2011 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esuohlim (Post 722996)
serious lol about this right here. I caught this show once at like 4:30 in the morning at it was like Jerry Springer meets Judge Alex. "YOU SAY YOUR BROTHER OWES YOU RENT, YOU SAY THAT YOU PAYED HIM SEVEN-MONTHS WORTH IN ADVANCE AND THE MONEY IS SUDDENLY MISSING? WELL, FUCKERS, WE'RE GOING TO AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT AND YOU'RE GOING TO THROW FOOD AT EACH OTHER. CASE DISMISSED." :justice

EXTREME AKIM EXTREME AKIM EXTREME AKIM


I forgot he was EXTREME AKIM.



This is a lady after my own heart

executioneer May 25th, 2011 04:01 PM

i hope she can tell us about MoThAfUcKiN mIrAcLeS

kahljorn May 25th, 2011 04:41 PM

is there another thread on here where that new character is posting?

Tadao May 25th, 2011 04:52 PM

No, she was probably warned by the mods to KEEP IT IN ONE THREAD ******

Pub Lover May 25th, 2011 05:00 PM

:pagebrak

Tadao May 25th, 2011 05:11 PM


kahljorn May 25th, 2011 05:26 PM

is it possible to get deleted text messages printed up?

guess the thing about being able to take everything except the couch and the bed was a text message ;/

zeldasbiggestfan May 25th, 2011 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 723070)
is it possible to get deleted text messages printed up?

guess the thing about being able to take everything except the couch and the bed was a text message ;/

Talk to your cell phone company, they store all of that shit.

MLE May 25th, 2011 05:39 PM

Actually, I don't think it's available to the consumer. The only way they can search records that hard to peruse is under a court order.

MLE May 25th, 2011 05:39 PM

In any case, the stuff is yours and you want it back. Take whatever you have and whatever witnesses you have. I think you can take multiple ones.

kahljorn May 25th, 2011 05:46 PM

yea my whole family was there when i got the gifts.. im just worried her family will perjure themselves so she can keep the stuff and i wont have any proof they are lying.

10,000 Volt Ghost May 25th, 2011 05:57 PM

Pretty sure you can get a print out of text messages too from your provider.

Tadao May 25th, 2011 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 723075)
yea my whole family was there when i got the gifts.. im just worried her family will perjure themselves so she can keep the stuff and i wont have any proof they are lying.

Even so, you should do it so that you are justified when you slash all their tires. If it cost you 3,000 dollars in loses, they should get triple the damage in car repair.

kahljorn May 25th, 2011 06:27 PM

alright thanks guys

Fathom Zero May 25th, 2011 06:43 PM

This is so good, I wanted to share it immediately.


Tadao May 25th, 2011 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 723088)
alright thanks guys

Seriously though, if she's acting like a cunt now, she'll act like a cunt in court. Her whole family will make shit up and be all HAHAHA and the judge will catch them in a lie because he see's this shit everyday.

Should be an easy win for you. If your family bought the stuff, it's on their card probably and shows that she put nothing into the relationship, yet feels entitled to it all without even discussing it.

Kitsa May 25th, 2011 07:27 PM

or sometimes (again, speaking from personal experience here), the opposing party will opt not to show up at all, pissing off the judge enough to be disposed favorably toward you.

Dimnos May 26th, 2011 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero (Post 722984)
Never do. Tornadoes sound more amazing than they actually are. They are beautiful, though.

Yeah. Real fuckin beautiful. >:

Spoilers!

Tadao May 26th, 2011 12:18 PM

What, you have a problem with firewood?

10,000 Volt Ghost May 26th, 2011 12:27 PM

Quote:

=GRIZZERGRAVY
THE PRAM MAVEN ILLUSTRATED STORY BOOK
(NOT WORTH ILLUSTRATING)

Once in a sunless and poorly lit haven
There lived a clay-mater by the name of Pram Maven.
He slept through the day and he worked through the night,
and despite his delusions he wasn't too bright.

Pram had no life and no friends with whom to spend time,
So he sought out new buddies by posting online.
He fancied a chuckle and liked a guffaw,
So he looked up a site sporting comedy raw.
He swiftly butted heads with one "cjadthenord"
And in the process became terribly sore.
He ranted and raved, before running away
Vowing to return for his vengeance one day.

Many years later he googled his name,
but search engine results were simply always the same.
cjadthenord had loudly proclaimed him an idiot, see;
without vindication Pram would never be free.
Pram demanded they remove the tempestuous post
And quickly or else, he would emphatically boast
They would rue the day and he then told them why.
For he would crush I-Mockery with a call to the FBI.


The result were disturbing,
flat-out perturbing,
As the denizens howled with glee.
Pram was a cad
and the locals were glad
To his mind they now held the key.

They booed and they howled
And they jeered and they growled
And their hungry jaws slathered with foam
Pram cried all night
in ungainly fright
As they showed him his name and his home

It was all tricks and games,
But Pram was so lame
That his body quivered with fear
Sensing a sucker,
the bullies grew darker
And they all started to jeer:
We ignored all your lies;
We'll ignored all your cries
And we'll take everything you once held dear"

Pram was forever now broken
His mind just a token
Of the genius he once thought he was.
He called Tadao a looter
And shut off his computer
As a NORMAL person regularly does

When lo and behold,
He saw stark and bold
His reflection on his pc.

He suddenly realized
He'd been telling himself lies-
"The problem is really with me!"

He said, "fuck this place
with no standards or grace;
I need only my actual life."

I've been completely addicted
And pointlessy tricked in
To this place of boredom-borne strife.

So he went on his way
And lives to this day
In his happily self-contained fief.
This should be put on the front page of that thread too.

MLE May 26th, 2011 01:13 PM

I'll consider it.

Zhukov May 26th, 2011 01:35 PM

It is a fantastic piece.

Tadao May 26th, 2011 01:40 PM

cjadthenord would be proud to know that the seed he planted turned into a giving tree.

kahljorn May 26th, 2011 03:08 PM

yea well thanks for the advice guys and i expect the worst but hope she wont show up at all :lol

10,000 Volt Ghost May 26th, 2011 04:31 PM

I feel like we also all need to show up with suits on and rabble rouse in the court.

Kitsa May 26th, 2011 04:38 PM

My divorce judge looked exactly like John Denver (antemortem) and it was all I could do not to remark upon it.

Pub Lover May 26th, 2011 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhukov (Post 723139)
The lady plastered in fake gems looks super annoying; is she famous?


Pentegarn May 26th, 2011 05:24 PM

I found her hard to listen to when I was working in the record store (yeah they used to exist once upon a time) and little has changed

Pentegarn May 26th, 2011 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa (Post 723151)
My divorce judge looked exactly like John Denver (antemortem) and it was all I could do not to remark upon it.

You should have just casually worked the titles of his songs into statements while addressing him

Fathom Zero May 26th, 2011 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dimnos (Post 723127)
Yeah. Real fuckin beautiful. >:

lololol

Once, one brought down a three storey pecan tree on my house and some powerlines. It was good fun.

Pentegarn May 26th, 2011 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost (Post 723149)
I feel like we also all need to show up with suits on and rabble rouse in the court.


King Hadas May 26th, 2011 06:46 PM

You know I considered writing a poem about Pram Maven as well and I was even going to start it with the same Maven/Haven rhyme Grislygus used. It was too hard though so I gave up.

No one appreciates my poetry anyways >:

kahljorn May 26th, 2011 07:06 PM

Quote:

I feel like we also all need to show up with suits on and rabble rouse in the court.
She'll be all, "NO RABBLEROUSING ALLOWED" and then she'll do the hank hill shudder and go, "you're harassing me." ladddyyyybiiirdd

:lol

10,000 Volt Ghost May 26th, 2011 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pentegarn (Post 723159)

That's got one of my favorite lines about the spirit of 76. :lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 723165)
She'll be all, "NO RABBLEROUSING ALLOWED" and then she'll do the hank hill shudder and go, "you're harassing me." ladddyyyybiiirdd

:lol

We need to get judge rabblerouser on the case.

Grislygus May 26th, 2011 10:02 PM

More like the RIGHT HONORABLE TOM FOOLERY

Fathom Zero May 26th, 2011 10:03 PM



I remember when Rongi threw a shit fit because I said I respected Zappa, but couldn't say I really liked him. :lol I wasn't really interested in jam-like music at the time.

Fathom Zero May 26th, 2011 10:17 PM

Oh yeah, and that album is prty gd

kahljorn May 27th, 2011 01:21 AM

ugh.. theres so much shit of mine thats in that place that its annoying

i seriously just want to kill myself rather than deal with it

Fathom Zero May 27th, 2011 01:22 AM

Then just leave it. :|

kahljorn May 27th, 2011 01:23 AM

that makes me want kill myself just as much :/

Fathom Zero May 27th, 2011 01:28 AM

Or at least get monetary compensation for it all. I'm sure that can be worked out and it'd save you having to go over and haul all the shit away, if you're interested in avoiding contact.

kahljorn May 27th, 2011 02:07 AM

yea i dunno sorry

Fathom Zero May 27th, 2011 02:30 AM

:confused:

Don't kill yourself. That's dumb. People will miss you. Even internet people.

kahljorn May 27th, 2011 03:54 AM

:lol yea i know sorry for being all depressed

was really drunk

kahljorn May 27th, 2011 03:59 AM

SOMEONE CALLED SOMEBODY A JANITOR AND I WAS ALL, "CUSTODIAN, DICK" AND EVERYBODY GOT ALL MAD

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD

Fathom Zero May 27th, 2011 04:46 AM

http://honchcrow.tumblr.com/post/5731769069

awwww yisss

executioneer May 27th, 2011 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kahljorn (Post 723209)
SOMEONE CALLED SOMEBODY A JANITOR AND I WAS ALL, "CUSTODIAN, DICK" AND EVERYBODY GOT ALL MAD

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD

was it a scientist

zeldasbiggestfan May 27th, 2011 05:22 AM

First janitor I thought of.

Pentegarn May 27th, 2011 07:14 AM

Yeah, that was kind of the joke

Kitsa May 27th, 2011 09:05 AM

I think his wife and kids might have come to my art show but I'm not sure

Pub Lover May 27th, 2011 12:17 PM

Dylan's Nipples. :(

Tadao May 27th, 2011 12:28 PM

Ready for the layup?

Tadao May 27th, 2011 12:30 PM

Gimme da ball

Tadao May 27th, 2011 12:30 PM

Alleyoop!

10,000 Volt Ghost May 27th, 2011 02:30 PM

:DYNP

HE'S ON FIRE

Also,

Don Carlson (Pram Maven) is a homeless criminal
lol


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