[Dole]

"At this time, she is laying on my bed reading the newspaper. "

-get off the fucking internet for starters!! I always think its weird people posting about their relationships when their partners are in the same room.
Girl: What are you doing, hon?
Bloke: Nothing...just talking to lots of total strangers about you and every facet of our relationship.

And if you have a nice attractive female whom you are actually dating then stop worrying about, and just go and have fun! Yeesh!