[James]

I can't get buttsex from you anyway, until we take out trip to Mexico. Because despite your user name, you will talk. Oh, you will talk. And then I get thrown into jail.

Here's another one for you.

Old-fashioned move: Taking your date's hand as she gets out of the car, as a mild form of helping her out.

Response in old-fashioned times: "I am impressed and smitten by your concern and care for me, that you'd make sure I would be alright even when getting out of an automobile. It also shows a sign that you want to engage in innocent and intimate physical contact with me, and that makes me feel special."

Response today: "If I want you to help me out of the car, I'll fucking tell you to help, then get mad at you for not doing so until I had to tell you. Who needs help getting out of a car anyway? I'm not your grandma!"