Invite your black friend (if he really exists) to the site and let him read some of your posts, particularly in this thread. Maybe while he's finding out what a real prick you are, you can search your house for your sub letter, and the name of that medical condition that kept you out of the military.
Hey, why don't you invite the handjob-giving chick, and the strippers with the implants, too? It'll be a great big party!
