[Drew Katsikas]

Yeah, it's not quite finished, and it's lacking some things. However, your dialoge argument is ridiculous.

"I'm sleepy now. I never get into bed before three o'clock. He should have killed himself last week."

Hemingway wrote that, I like to emulate his style. It's a stylistic thing, so if you don't like it fine. Granted I'm not even 1 millionth as good as him, but you should be able to recognize the things I'm trying to accomplish, even if I fail miserably, as I probably did.

I still need to write some sort of introductory element, where the two men first find the woman. I plan on having them meet her inadvertantly, and she goes about seducing one of the men. The other is sort of horrified as they go at it, but his friend coerces him to do the same. Perhaps this will take place under an apple tree, but that might be beating a dead horse at this point. After he finishes, he suddenly realizes how cold out it is. He also realizes he's nude, and quickly dresses. The woman starts flipping out, they choke her or something, and then light a fire due to the cold. That's where it will come into the story.

Does that make more sense now? Maybe it's a junk story, whatever. I have posted a one of a much different style in this forum. You may like it more.