[James]

Just to clear some things up.

Saying I "let her" was just bad wording. No reason to get on my case for it.

The suicide attempt was not specifically over her boyfriend. It was just one of many reasons. She had a friend die recently, she's in a country halfway across the world and lonely, she feels that her being born was a mistake, and much more. I only brought up the boyfriend thing because that's something she had said that night. I'm not saying the boyfriend reason, or any of the other reasons, are valid for suicide, but I'm just trying to clear up that it wasn't over her boyfriend.

I know that you guys feel that I shouldn't give a damn about her, being that she's only an internet person. But my views on internet friendships aren't as impersonal. Just because to each other, we're words on a screen, doesn't mean she's not a human being with obvious problems. Nor does it mean I'm not either. I can't not care about someone I consider a friend, just like I care what happens to a number of you.

My staying up all night is a combination of insomnia and convenience that she's on at those times as well. It was kind of misleading to say that I stay up all night because I worry about her. I stay up all night, AND worry about her. I'm not really putting my life on hold for her, but rather just making sure I have time in my life for her, which isn't too hard being that I do jack shit.

I also understand when you people are suggesting I leave her be to deal with these issues. But the thing is, I knew something was bothering her, and I respected her wishes to just ignore it. Then I find this out. It's not something that I can do, letting it go again. I worry that things will just repeat themselves if she doesn't have someone she can open up to and get things out. So my goal is to try and have her be more open with her feelings. Let people know that there's something wrong, and let people help her.

Is it an attempt for attention? I doubt it, but I know there's always a chance. But I think it's quite a gamble to get attention by not bringing any of this up unless someone cares enough to find out for themselves. I'd think if she was looking for attention, she'd be a lot more vocal about these things, rather than baiting myself and maybe a couple others via obscurity. And I don't want to chance it anyway.

I'm not bending over backwards here, and I'm not being manipulated. We were talking anyway. But now the conversation will try to be more involved with how she's feeling, and just trying to get her to open up to me more. I know there's not much I can do, and it's not my responsibility to babysit her while I worry she'll kill herself, and I'll try not to do that. But I do think that if I consider her a friend, I should at least try to be there for her in some manner. I know what it's like to just need someone to reach out for you sometimes, rather than being left alone to deal with problems you don't know how to deal with.

I know I'm not taking your advice, but I really do appreciate the input. I guess what I was looking for, was ways to get her to open up more to me, because I think it would help a lot if she had someone who she could be "real" with, instead of lying and saying everything's fine. But I may end up taking it in the end, depending on how things go. If my life ends up revolving around her, then that's obviously a problem. But at this time, I just have a net friend who I talk to, who has problems I want to try and help with. And I really don't think it's at a point where I should just let it be, unless it becomes a problem in itself.