[Off-Topic Man]

I have a pet fire and I name it Flamino. For survival, I feed it woodchips and junkmail for food and gasoline to drink. Flamino's favorite toys are firecrackers and often plays a gag on smokers with explosive cigerettes. I'll never forget the look on it's flaming bottom when i first saw him in a trash barrell under an abandoned bridge. I had to take it home and give it a better life than just keeping some hoboes warm. It was no kind of life for him. Now that he is in a better place, everyday he is bursting with joy of life...and flame.