[Anonymous]

I could go back and explain how the urination angle wasn't meant to make your head swell and your fists pound away at the genitals to redirect the pain. But everybody's a little different.

We would like to take this opportunity to apologize for not meeting expectations. I assure you our focus is on customer satisfaction, and so I would appreciate if you would fill out this brief questionnaire so we can better serve our remaining customers. The following questions may be answered by diailing the appropriate number on your touch-tone phone. If you do not have a touch-tone phone, there is a brief pause after each query in which you may pronounce the digit in your manliest voice.

The following questions may be answered on a scale of 1 to 5 - with 5 being 'very satisfied' and 1 being 'extremely disappointed'.

- The quality and timeliness of Chojin's posts, as they apply to your relative community enthusiasm and entertainment.

- The quality and timeliness of Chojin's picture-oriented contributions, as they apply to the soft bits tucked between your
thighs and in various facial orifaces during the holiday visits for which your father can retain conciousness.

- The quality and timeliness of your own posts as they relate to your personal view of your social image and the voices that gnaw
and claw at the back of your mind, trying in vain to hint that if even Kellychaos hates you, you have reached a new low in your life -
surpassing even that moment in the fifth grade which involved your grandparents' surprise visit and the ruining of a Punky
Brewster down comforter.

- The size of your weenster, relative to the other children at your all-male junior high that chase you about the locker room with
sewing pins.

- Your continued proclamations of victory that not even you or the ghost of the down comforter swallow.

Thank you for your input. We regret losing you as a customer, but hope that we may serve you in the future after our service is at an acceptable level. Fag.