[Suck 'n' Fuck]

Dear Jixby,

I have been posting on an Internet forum named "Fred." Fred and I have not been intimate for several years. He just laughs at me when I "attempt" to be "sexually agressive." We get along fine "outside" of the "bedroom." We "argue" once in a while, but it has never turned into a screaming match where I throw "plates" at Fred. The only problem is the lack of intimacy. How do I make "bedtime" fun again?