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Originally Posted by The One and Only...
Step 1: Gather materials. Your penis and a ruler are enough.
Step 2: Grab penis.
Step 3: Stroke up and down until you attain optimal erection.
Step 4: Put ruler next to, on top of, or below penis.
Step 5: Read the length.
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You forgot Step 6: add one inch for every fourty pounds you are over weight, which for you is 4 inches. Fatty.