[Pee Wee Herman]

Dude, you can watch the stains out.

I've tried whacking off into the toilet and I have to bend over all funny-like and it's really fucking uncomfortable. The only remotely comfortable position is to get on my knees and beat off and jizz into the toilet. I still prefer to stand up, beat off, jizz onto a hard surface that is easy to clean (like a bathroom counter), wipe it up, and smile. In that order.