[mburbank]

You know what's funny? The last time I was blindingly publicly drunk and disorderly would have been in Portland Oregon. No, wait, not funny, ironic.

There was this guy who used to hang out at saturday market. He looked old to me back then but I guess he was about the age I am now. He was in a wheelchair, dressed as a priest and there was this big homeade lucite tank attatched to the chair, and the priests upper body was in the tank and there was a monkey in it the tank with him. He had a handwritten sign starpped to his legs that read "If a priest with rickets in a monkey cage can raise money for the poor, so can you." I was doing street theater, I think, and a hobo threw an empty bottle at me and we got in a shouting match. Then later a really old black guy with both legs in casts beat me with a crutch on city bus. Man, them was the days. So yes, I know what you're talking about. Except my story had no chicks in it, becuase back then they all didn't want to ruin our great friendship. You know what I'm saying.