[El Blanco]

Vice President: Matthew Lillard- greatest sidekick ever

Department of Agriculture: Woody Harrelson

Department of Commerce: Nikki Hilton (way hotter than that Downe-Syndromed sister of hers)

Department of Defense: Bill Belichek (or however you spell it)

Department of Education: Bill Nye the Science Guy

Department of Energy: Alyssa Milano

Department of Health & Human Services: Jamie Lynn Discala

Department of Homeland Security: Elisha Cuthbert

Department of HUD: Jay-Z

Department of the Interior: The Queer Eye guys

Department of Justice: Rudy Guilianni

Department of Labor: Dave Grohl

Department of State: James Earl Jones (but there would be a real fancy set up for him)

Department of Transportation: Funk Master Flex

Department of the Treasury: Scrooge McDuck

Department of Veteran Affairs: Larry Hamma

EPA: Monica Belluci

Office of Management and Budget: Tyra Banks

Office of National Drug Control Policy: Nate Dog

U.S. Trade Rep.: Wink Martendale

Chief of Staff: Donald Fehr

Sub-cabinet:

Natl. Security Advisor: Samuel L Jackson (I would be giddy waiting for those breifings)

Press Secretary: Rummsfeild (oh come on, like you don't love watching him yell at the press)

CIA Director: Bruce Willis

FBI Director: Michael Chiklis

Senior Advisor: Jack McKeon

Federal Reserve Board: Tara Reid (any speech she makes will be considered good news)

I know a handful of those will be obscure to most of you, but those who get them will realize just why they are so appropriate.

And now, who wants to live in my country?