[Grandpa Jones]

You kids these days have no respect for the art of making love. Back when I was young we waited until we were married or over 18 to have sex. It just wasn't right to do then. Nowadays you kids watch MTV and think sex is a normal everyday thing when it's meant to be special. You only get to lose your virginity once, and it should be with someone you love.

This should be a lesson to all of you. You should wait until you're older and have a better understanding of sex. And if you do, she should be on every type of birth control, you should use 3 condoms, and she should take contraceptives anyways after sex.