[Helm]

Why, Captain Bubba, it is good that you come forward to dispel these rumours surrounding you and your girl friend.

Do you know that doing so shows you're a man of stature? A man deserving of his military rank?

How ever, there are issues that need to be addressed.

Secondly, Helm, I must inform you that shortly after the taking of these photos I proceeded to demoralize and severely bludgeon my girlfriend unti she submitted to my cock.

It is good that you have your woman under control, but wouldn't you agree that in her weakened state of willfulness she might be succeptible to the predatory advances of other males, per haps even males of colour.

Do you know that tying up your female with a strong rope or chain to a common house hold appliance can de duct the chances of her being unfaithful to you by a good 65%?

Do you know that if you also emply the safety of a dungeon this percentage shoots up to the astonishing 134%. Not even men of colour in their devilish ways can come to your woman in a soundly locked up and thorougly tested dungeon. I strongly recommend you start digging. Or better yet, make your woman dig. It is only proper it is for her own protection.

In her butt.

You don't say, Captain!

In fact, Helm, I invented a new style of anal sex which I deem "Colonial" style. Much like regular sex, however instead of using standard modern lubrication, a stick of unsalted, white, butter is shoved in the orifice of discussion. As to make slippery. Once again,

I applaud you for your innovation, Captain, but would you not say that a woman lusting after you, even lacking the genetic capabilities to produce vubrication in her anal cavity, would find a way to in fact be able to do so? Is it not only proper to step over the lackings of the flesh in order to love as thoroughly and totally as desired? Would it not be fitting to witness a miracle of love and subservience?

Do you know that if you attack your woman's rear end with enough authoritative anger you can larcerate it just so as it produces natural lubricant in the form of the most basic of essences, blood? Some minds see this as cruel, whereas men such as us see it only as practical.

She was ravered up mostly as a comedic gesture. About 95% of the high school kids there dress "gothic" or "emo" so she borrowed our Candy raver friend's getup to make fun of them.

First, comedic gestures.

Then, massive bouts of copulation with various men of colour. Control your woman.