Mike: Your continued whining has now angered the I-Mock Gods, lose 5 more faith points, and as punishment you have been stripped of your Paladin status until you atone for you bitch boy ways, you also have been fucked in the ass by an Archon and forced to wear a humiliating tattoo on your head, saying “Bitch of the angels”. Take an additional 20 points of damage.
Carnivore: Your fighter has been mysteriously teleported away from the party, to the I-Mock Halls of Redundancy. Here in these torturous halls you are forced to hear the lamest jokes repeated over and over by 100,000 fucktards. Roll for a sanity check.
Matt: I have ruled that Esuohlim’s “Blowjob of Intellectual Restoration” ritual he performed on you has brought your rogue back from gibbering fucktard status (barely) so there’s no need to roll a new character.
