Ha Ha! More PROOF that my fucking threads are the coolest shit on here and you can’t stay away fucktards!!!
Mike: that’s no way to talk to your idol.
Okay let’s roll for damage.
Mike: Okay the Archon has successfully torn a hole in your rectum with his celestial jizz. This has had an interesting effect; apparently a gate way to the fairy world has been created. Every round you have a pixie or fairy come flying out of your ravaged asshole. If you take a shit, there’s a one in five chance a gnome will come out. However since you’re bringing more good creatures into the world, your Paladin status has been given back.
Matt Harty: You’ve developed an obsession with Esuohlim’s blow jobs, this coupled with your borderline gibbering fucktardism, causes you to have to make a check each round. On a 1 you’re unable to contain yourself and you MUST try to mouth fuck Esuohlim. No saving throws.
GADZOOKS: You’ve broken your vow fucktard! The Mad God laughs!
Take 50 points of hypocrite damage fucktard! Since this is your wizard’s familiar Esuohlim, you also take half damage.
Supafly345 and Hitler: I am sorry but there is simply no place for Anti-Semitism in my campaign. Please leave fucktards.
(And I thank all of you fucktards for continuing to prove my point)