lol! let's be serious, though!!!
For ball-mice, I generally use a pencil eraser to get the caked-on crap off the rollers, then maybe go over it with q-tips and alcohol if you're really picky (this is what most professional clean-up jobs will do, too). AChimp's right about removing the plastic case from the keyboard (it splits into two halves) and getting the crap out that way.
I do highly recommend you get an optical mouse, though.