[Terra]

Dear Father,

I came to the Mockery forum to get laid and be otherwise humiliated for my ignorance. I fear I'm pregnant with a cyberbaby and I don't know who the poster is. I dropped out of online college and I'm now walking the cyber streets of personal purgatory in the hopes of finding a more prospective cyber father that I can blackmail into online marriage before I begin to show. Hopefully his BLOG will reveal a nice chunk of change in his personal financial portfolio.

On the upside, my pornography site is making millions and many people can identify me by my snatch but have no idea who I look like and wouldn't know me if they fucked me with the lights on. I now seek the company of priests such as yourself to give me online benediction and with whom to ride the chariot of passion to online eternity. While I may never be saved, going to hell never felt so good.