[Stark]

Strange disease sweeps crappy message board
Sep 22, 12:02 PM EDT
By Remy Forbnarb - Associated Press Writer

A strange infection is spreading through a little known message board called 'i-mockery.net' that seems to be dedicated to outdated video games and 'yo momma' style banter. The disease causes unwary victims to place increasing amounts of asterisks in their posts with little regard for style or moderation. This alone wouldn't be cause for alarm but the condition seems to cause rabid politcal enthusiasts from both sides of the spectrum to repeat redundant information and ignore repeated pleas to stfu. It also causes them to repeat themselves.

Symptoms include:

-inflamed sense of one-upmanship
-squinty eyes
-short term memory loss
-loss of IQ
-hackneyed discourse
-whippity-scrotum
-false pride in convoluted 'activism'
-short term memory loss

If you find yourself suffering from some or all of these symptoms please contact a physician immediately. And stfu.