[CaptainBubba]

Hey. I have a problem. I tried masturbating with a sock and it felt so damn good ya'll. Seriously.

This is a problem now because I do not desire the meaningless lumps of flesh known as ladies anymore because sock is also warm and tight and wetness just makes me take longer anyway.

I admit afterward I have to look down in shame at my defiled foot-wear rather than bask in the victorious glory of a love-slain lady-friend, but I can go straight to my computer afterward too. And my computer is always coming for me. Right now. Shes coming.

I dont wear socks because sandals are awesome, so wearing a dirty one isnt a problem and for some reason I have like 8 pairs, so I can go two weeks without washing any of them, and get sock play every day.

I fail to see why I should stay with my girlfriend honestly. Sometimes she farts.
Cmon.