well since it seems like it was my toys that started this whole fiasco, I think it only fitting that I should be head judge, as such I'll do commentary on each successive round
Hulk and the Cow eye each other in pure hatred. Their eyes locked, the adrenalin starts to pump and these two arch rivals start tearing into each other.
At first, The Hulk gains a sizeable advantage from his gamma fueled powers, running circles around the Cow, leaving the Cow dizzy and disoriented. As Hulk gears up for the deathblow, something goes
horribly wrong, and he reverts back to Bruce Banner form. Sensing his newfound advantage, the Cow immediately strikes, unleashing moves that would leave his cousin from the movie Kung Pow utterly speechless, and yes folks, THAT PUN WAS INTENDED! Having beaten the Hulk into complete submission, the Cow goes on to claim victory in Round One. The Hulk lies on the ground, a broken shadow of himself. All he can do is lift his puny Banner fist into the air, yelping out, "Why, God, why?"
WINNER: Mr. Mockery