[sspadowsky]

Once when I was about seven, I was watching a Cardinals game. Whitey Herzog, their manager, got into an argument with the umpire, and was subsequently ejected from the game. Being seven, I thought that was the coolest thing ever.

A day or two later, we were playing kickball in gym class, and the gym teacher let kids in the class be umpires. One kid made a call, and for all I can remember, it was probably right. But, by god, I was inspired, and right call or wrong call, I had me an argument to get into. I charged off the bench, got right in his face, and commenced to yellin'. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I remember the deer-in-the-headlights look of shock on his face, which, in retrospect, made it entirely worth the gym teacher ejecting me from the game.