[McClain]

It's good to hear you have a healthy baby boy! Yay for Karen and baby Jacob and the name of the guy who stuck his penis in your vagina hole! (don't remember his name)

I don't suppose you registered for a baby rocket? I can get you one, you know. They strap on like a backpack and they propel your infant to the clouds. Their descent is cushioned with a parachute and the entire contraption offers extra neck support, 'cause you know, infants' necks are like a wet noodle attached to a bocce ball.