[Rongi]

God scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. He sounded like a really short-tempered guy who would fuck you over if you didn’t follow his rules. I was constantly afraid of being struck down by this guy in the sky if I messed up, so I made a point of doing as little as possible and clammed up. I remember once I heard a group kids saying how much they liked to lie to their parents or something and I flipped out on them. "How dare you go against god!" I screamed. I think I might of even cried or something. I was afraid that if I didn’t try to save these boys god would kill me. That's how much the Catholic Church instilled fear on me.

It came to a point (I think it was around when I was 11) where I was tired of being afraid of this invisible man. I was tired of waking up early in the morning and going to some big scary place to stand up and sing some hymns to please this person I couldn’t even see. So I stopped going to church, and eventually stopped believing in him.

Every now and then I get really afraid that when I die it turns out that there is a god and I really fucked up by not believing in him.