[Helm]

I was brought up a scepticist. When I was 5 or so I remember asking my dad who God was, and he told me to 'remember that question', which at the time I thought was a pretty fucking rediculous answer. He didn't believe, but he never forced me either way. If I prayed, I can now tell he was somewhat dismayed, but he didn't tell me not to, and if I expressed and interest in exploring the utter absurdity that is blind faith, he encouraged the process but didn't socratize the truth out of me. I discovered the god farse on my own, really. Obviously, socially I was a Christian Orthodox as I grew up, and I have attended church with school, and have studied the new testament to an extent. I had to memorize the gist of retarded parables at school, and little religious hymns and I got graded on that. 'Ethical education' means 'becoming a good christian' in greek elementary school.

At fifth grade or so ( you're 9 at fifth grade I think?) I was drawing this neat pirate (a kid later asked me to do a copy for him and gave me two bits of caramel candy for it. I sold out on my artistic integrity that very day.) and he had a cutlass in one hand, and a disembodied bloody head on the other and he was grinning. My teacher saw it and she said it wasn't a nice thing to draw, and that, I quote "what would God think?". I told my school teacher that "God is irrelevant" and she got all upset and called my mom to tell her and ask where I picked that up. My mom laughed and didn't make a big deal of it, so my mom is cool.

Two years later, as a junior high freshman, I stopped praying along with the other kids at school. Do you guys get that? In greece we pray at school before the classes start, and after they end. I was doing it pretty mechanically up to then, but one day I decided that didn't have to. I guess I was right. My HS principal got all upset and he called my dad to tell him to come over at school because of a matter concerning his son. When my dad came to school, I saw him walking towards the principal's office and he gave me a stern look. Like dads do when you've potentially fucked up. My dad had long hair then and his eyes could get really harsh. Now he's emotional jell-o, but back then he could punch you with his eyes I swear. Anyway, my dad goes to the principal's office, expecting to hear something about my grades (I was a top student then, as my dad wanted his son to be #1 haha sorry dad, it'll take two years before your son finds that fixation of yours equally absurd and becomes an almost fail student) but instead the principal welcomes him in and tells him that his son is not praying as he well should. My principal was a 'Greece is #1 we invented thinking! And God is cool! And the only good Turkish people are dead Turkish people!' type of person. My dad was (and is) a godless marxist political journalist/cartoonist. So dad tells him to fuck right off and his son can make up his own mind about what he believes in. When he came out of the office, he found me and he hugged me ( gosh dad, not in public ) and told me to not take crap from anyone. So I didn't. And I still don't.

I find the notion of an all-powerful, omniescent god absurd. I find the notion that an objective morality exists, and should be enforced at fear of eternal damnation stupid and dangerous. Even If god exists, he can suck my hairy greek nuts.