[!!!!]

HEY YOU GUYS! LONG TIME NO SEE, I JUST GOT OUT OF PRISON (YEAH YEAH I KNOW I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE ) AND BOY IS MY LIFE EXCITING ATM (AT THE MOMENT)!!! CURRENTLY I'M HEALING FROM A RECENT SURGERY AND TO HELP THE DOWNTIME GO FASTER I'M PLANNING MY...WEDDING!! THAT'S RIGHT YOU GUYS JIXBY PHILLIPS AND I LIVE TOGETHER NOW AND ARE GETTING MARRIED JUST LIKE BIRDS DO AND BOY I CAN'T WAIT! ALSO THE REASON WE ARE GETTING MARRIED IS BECAUSE I AM PREGNANT (DON'T WORRY WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX...BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY!!) AND HIS PARENTS ARE KINDA PISSED ABOUT IT BUT W/E

WELL I GOTTA GO SEE A MAN ABOUT SOME FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS (I WANT THIS WEDDING TO BE LIKE A BUNCH OF FLOWERS BLEW UP!!) LIKE THEY SAY IN JAIL, I'LL SEE YOU LATER WHEN UR ASLEEP AND I SHOVE SOMETHING IN UR ABDOMEN!! BYE

P.S. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM YOU CAN GO HOME RIGHT NOW AND EAT SOME TACKS