[McClain]

Security, eh? Whatever works for you man. Decent money. Funny thing is that a lot of folks think that getting in to security or being a jailer is the next step toward law enforcement. I'm not charging you with such an offense... but that action couldn't be more retarded.
When a department looks to hire someone, the last thing they give a shit about is if someone was a security guard or a babysitter for convicted thugs.

I have no doubt in my mind that I'll be the worst cop ever. EVAR. I have every intention on meeting my moving violations quota solely with people who fail to use turn signals.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"No officer, I don't."
"Well," I'll say. "Your turn signal light is busted."
"No it's not," the purp with retort.
"It's not?" I'll ask. "So you willfully neglected to use it?"
"Oh... I see. Yes officer. It's broke," they'll say trying to be coy.
"Broken tail light is a $80 fine, shithead."

FTW.