[Jeff The Ninja]

Ok, I gotta warn you, the story you are about to read is true. Every word I say is not exagerated or made up. And it is Very Screwed up.

Well, It was christmas morning. The tips of the trees were covered with the frost that lingers on the tips of trees. I was about eight years old and was expecting to get a lot of presents that year. So I got up and ran down the stairs before anybody else got there. It was silent, it was calm, it was 5:47 am. So I turned on the Television and started watching the samurai Pizza Cats as I waited for my Older Brother Chris, Older Sister Jen, My mom and "Step Dad" who we always called Martin.

At 6:30, The rest of the family got up and my mom told me to turn off the TV because it was impolite and we had to wait for Martin to get up. Well we waited in silence, What was there to say. Me and my hyperactive self were Rocking back in the chair staring at the Assorted Elvis Pressly Christmas Ornaments when it, the seemingly sick humor of God reared its ugly head.

See, Every morning, Martin would take a Shower. We thought it to be nothing unusual. But what happened horrified our family to no end and officially Killed christmas. If the Grinch Couldnt Ruin christmas for Whoville, this wouldve sent them into such a deep holiday depression that they would all commit suicide at the mention of chestnuts.

So My family was sitting down in silence when Martin, instead of putting some pants on, decided to surprise my mom in the living room with his "lil elf". With the View he was given, he could only see the back of my moms head through the doorway. He decided to strike. He took us by surprise as he jumped through the door way and completely disregarding any shread of common decency, threw open his towel with a loud "WHHHHHAAAAAA" and gave my whole family a Shot of the "lil Elf".

Now let me tell you about martin, he is a 300 LB man with a Robin Williams level of body hair. He was smiling.

He left the room after 30 seconds and we heard him laughing as he dressed. The family still in silence as we realised what we had just seen. My brother broke the silence by singing Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire. He got slapped in the back of the head by my mom and when Martin got back we opened our presents. To this day, i cannot turn on my SEGA Genesis without going into a state of shock Followed by convulsions.

Toys go away, but mental Scarring lasts a lifetime (unless you have amnesia).