Thread: The start of my vampire saga
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King Hadas King Hadas is offline
God Emperor of Brigadoon
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Washington
King Hadas is probably pretty okKing Hadas is probably pretty okKing Hadas is probably pretty ok
Old May 12th, 2006, 07:06 PM       
I think the biggest problem with your story is that you keep shifting between third person perspective and choose your own adventure.
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