Thread: Believing in Noja & Showing Them Your Jen A. Talia
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Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Jul 28th, 2006, 05:24 PM       
Well, personal theological opinions aside, your actual writing could use some work.

The whole thing is very rambling, not very focused, and very, VERY long.

Try writing about one specific (And consistent) train of thought, as well as following a specific writing format... Though I'm not sure what you're going for, exactly. Are you trying to do an essay?
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