[mburbank]

I'm currently five nine and weigh 185 lbs, but if thinking about my 'bitch tits' gets you through the night, be my guest. It would be great if you told us your measurements. You could send them in along with your submarine letter. Say, are you in the military yet They lowered the IQ requirement, and they're pretty desperate, I bet they'd ignore that whole swooning thing you do where you get all rashy and pass out. Or are you too busy on your inspirational speaking tour for Subway? Get it? SUBway? SUBMARINE LETTER?

Is it too much to hope that you'd come back? We all miss you, and it would be soooooooo much fun to have you here now that Bush has approval ratings in the thirties, The Afganistan war which you were so sure we'd already won is still going on, and Pat Tillamn's brother has become a huge anti-war activist and Preechr and I are pals.

But I imagine you have to spend most of your time with your head in a paper bag due to the immense shame of being you.