Is there an implied "without leaving the house" after "closest thing I could find"?
Next time, try this classic recipe.
I will post my costume (conceived, purchased, and assembled at 3:30 PM Halloween day) when I get home from work.
Zombie is quite possibly the easiest fall-back costume next to t-shirt ninja. Especially if you have a big bag of "I plan to give these to the salvation army, eventually" clothes handy. :D