[Grislygus]

I can make you feel better.

Y'see, my name's the Welsh spelling of Reese, R-h-y-s. Which means that I will be forever mistaken as "Rice", "Rize", "Riss", "Rizz", and this one time, Russ.

Unfortunately, the resident jock at my Junior High put two and two together, and came up with the title of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco Treat.

Probably the cleverest way of calling someone a faggot that I've ever heard. It didn't catch on, but it's still depressingly funny.