[Protoclown]

Dammit! Wreck, alas! I didn't have time to warn you about her rapier wit and scathing sarcasm!

Oh, and the aloofness! Oh, gods! The constant reassurance that she is only here so long as we amuse her, because she will only deign to hang around and dally with the common folk until she finds something better to do! Oh! It pierces my heart like a venom-tipped dagger! Oh!

Oh, for want of a piece of tin foil! If only some shiny object would make its way into her field of vision, she might be distracted, and we would be spared this barrage, this very onslaught of the harshest criticism!