[zeldasbiggestfan]

I come down to my landing to shut my door and I hear my other friend Taylor yell my name laughing his ass off. I see Jake desperate for breath, asking hard for a phone, nearly in tears. I laughed. I thought it was a joke and tried to move his shirt to see it and he began to cry out, almost crying again. That's when I realized it wasn't a joke. Fat bastard used my phone to call his mom and girlfriend who's about to break up with him. Mom was pissed, girlfriend didn't pick up.

So how did this ordeal happen? Oh my god, it's quite a story to yell. We like to fuck with people. Alot. Sometimes it's a little too much. Like tonight. Apparently the fuck brothers went out to yell at golfers in this huge ditch. Easy to hide in and mess with people. So they decide to go on a bridge leading to the other side where there's a barbed wire fence to keep people out of the course. So they yell and laugh their asses off. Taylor jumps off the bridge to the ground and runs yelling, cops! Run! So naturally my friend Jake jumps. He hears Taylor trip and laugh saying, "Watch out for the wire!"

Too late.

Jake trips on the wire. Did I mention he's about 240 lbs? Yeah. He lands right on his chest, laughing not realizing he's making it worse. Taylor laughing his ass off. When he stood he began to cry. Like not laughing actually hurt crying. Taylor takes him to my house to use the phone. His mom was enraged to say the very, very least. Then she saw his red eyes thinking he was high. She grabbed his shirt and pulls it up wanting to feel it. "IM A NURSE." Jake didn't care. So they took off, Taylor laughing hysterically, me trying hard not to laugh at my injured friend.

To add insult to injury, Taylor let him walk right into a sprinkler getting him nice and wet. He got colder and colder, SHIVERING with his chest severely hurt.

Taylor's a dick.