So I met this Dark Elf farmer who I thought looked like a dick, so I went into his house and stole a bunch of his shit and slept in his bed.
I left and stole a lantern from his stoop to light my way, and he apparently took so much offense to this he decided to chase me across 2 small mountain ranges and through a plantation town. I thought I could get away by jumping in the ocean, but he followed me and started UNDERWATER PUNCHING me.
I finally managed to kill him back on the shore, which I celebrated by stripping him naked and not disposing of his corpse. Then I went to rest under a giant tree and some fag killed me in my sleep.
