This morning I tried to cook one of those soup at hand clam chowder things again, and the new design made it so that it didn't take as long to microwave. I didn't know that, of course, so it got way too hot and exploded when I set it for a minute and a half, and then when I was wiping the cup off I spilled a bunch of it on myself and in addition to burning my fingers it looked like someone had ejaculated onto my shirt.
